Mon, Apr. 28th, 2003 02:58 pm
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And I have turned in my thesis. WOOHOO!!

Luckily, all my worrying that the binding would somehow, inexplicably (one must always take Murphy into account), go wrong was wrong. It was bound and pretty and gold-stamped and amazingly fat! Couldn't believe I actually wrote all of that.

And I turned it in! Got a pretty nifty sports bag saying Princeton University, EAS 2003. And and and... it's in! It's bound! It's pretty!

And I have already had my first shot of vodka. Free champagne at dinner, thanks to Charter ^_^.

Wow. This entire weekend felt like some limbo land, but now, it's officially done! I'm thismuchcloser to real graduation!


Sun, Apr. 27th, 2003 04:41 am
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Am still recovering from being drunk! Whheee! First time drunk in a very loooong time.

So I watched the Stargate pilot with T. and his friend from NYC. I liked. Jack (who was Kurt Russell in the movie) is quite cool. The girl was really, unbelievably annoying! "Look at me, I'm a scientist, and I know everything! And you don't like me because I'm a grrrl so watch me make not-so-smart comebacks. Like me, like me!" Thankfully, T. says her part in the pilot is incredibly badly written (miss Buffy already, sigh) and that her character gets much much better later on. Which is good, or else I would have to glance askance (askew? Hee. Fun with words!) at Sam/Jack shipper people. And definitely slashy subtext between Jack and Daniel.

Now I will watch more episodes and hope that the writing tightens up. They get so much money to make that show! So many special effects! I wish Buffy got that much money, though I heard they're not holding anything back for the final few episodes.

Lalalala... head still spin-y and wobbly. Wooooooo. Fun. T. had some yummy vanilla shot things... das Komet or something... that tasted very good. Which is good, because I'm the girliest drinker ever. S. fed me some scotch once and nearly killed me. Then she fed me 151, which nearly killed both of us. I think after drinking 151, I could breathe out and light my breath on fire, it was that strong.

And I have clean clothes now! Yay!

Still missing the boy =(.

Hey, [livejournal.com profile] hecatehatesthat, is there going to be a NJ Buffy finale party? *grins prettily and bats wobbly lashes*


Thu, Apr. 24th, 2003 11:44 pm
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I made a new icon to commemorate the printing of the thesis. It is 150 pages, not counting beginning table of content stuff, and the actual text without appendices and bibliography is 96 pages. I'm looking at the inch thick stack of paper sitting on the boy's desk, and it's pretty hard to believe I wrote nearly that much. Eep.

Anyway, pretty new Utena icons to celebrate! Not that anyone has probably heard of it... but want, take, have.

1. 2.
3. 4.


Thu, Apr. 24th, 2003 05:15 am
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It is almost done! 96 pages, not counting bibliography or appendices. I still have to format a title page, think of a title, do acknowledgements and make my appendices prettier. And proofread for stupid spelling mistakes. But it's almost done!!

Didn't get to watch Angel because of the stupid thing =(.

Did I mention, it's almost done? It should get to the binders by Friday at the latest. Go me!

*dances until collapsing into sleep*

Thesis, again

Thu, Apr. 17th, 2003 05:21 pm
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Well, the intro has now been edited. I should write the conclusion today, as well as extensively edit chapter one. And think of a title. I'm so bad at thinking of titles... for me, a passable title would be: Chapter One - Scholarship on Shojo Manga.

I'm sitting in the Mechanical and Aerospace study room right now waiting for the boy to finish his problem set, and it's very strange. I feel very awkward taking up the computer for silly things like LJ when everyone is doing complicated looking things on MatLab or Mathematica or what have you. But I guess there are at least five other computers free now, so that should be ok.

This is just going to be a random post. Back in my growling at NJ mode because the weather just changed from an extremely sunny 78 degrees to a very cold and windy 40 some (Er, [livejournal.com profile] hecatehatesthat, meant the upper east coast? Made you a pretty icon and all...). And to be honest, the past two days here were gorgeously sunny, with bright blue skies and Japanese magnolias blooming everywhere on campus. I hate winter on the east coast, but I absolutely adore fall and spring. Both seasons always remind me of poetry for no real good reason.

I'll cheer myself up by thinking of thing I'll do after the thesis is in:
- get roaring drunk with other people in my major. Well, the ones who aren't sleeping for four days straight.
- rereading His Dark Materials. I'm so mad; just remembered I gave mine to my sister so I could buy a new set. Except I haven't bought it yet! I'm so stupid.
- reading DWJ's Year of the Griffin, one of the late Dune books, Parable of the Talents and hunting down Kissing the Witch (thanks, [livejournal.com profile] heres_luck).
- rereading Sandman once I yoink it back from Cyrus. Thanks Cyrus!
- work more on that random fic of mine.
- make more icons
- make a website for my total excess of icons so at least they will be used somewhere.
- another outdoor picnic with friends when it's warm again.
- shopping for pretty spring/summer skirts! Everyone has these pretty bright flippy skirts! Yay bright colors!

That's a nice list to look forward to... just one more week to go!


Wed, Apr. 16th, 2003 04:25 pm
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Just came back with a meeting with my advisor. And well, it wasn't totally bad. She likes my third chapter, but I really need to get moving. And now, of course, I am regretting the wasted past week. But I guess that's just how the story goes. And it is almost complete, except for the 5-8 page conclusion -- it's just very ugly and messy.

The entire time, she keeps telling me that I need more structure and more organization. Even the comment on my final body chapter, the one that I thought was all structured, comes with advice about structure and how the chapter reads a bit like stream of consciousness. And here I was actually trying too! I know I need it to be tidy, but I have no idea how to do it! I've never done anything remotely as big as this in my life (previous record, page-wise, somewhere around 30 pages... this baby's already up to 82, pre-conclusion and editing). And just argh.

So after work and Angel tonight (no way I am skipping my TV show because I am just that sad), I will stay up and work very hard on the whole thing, maybe draw it out? I have no idea how to do any of this. I will be good and not read LJ, despite the temptations. And damnit, I will have stuff by Friday to give to her.

I'm so ready for this to be over and done with.


Wed, Apr. 16th, 2003 12:20 am
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More on Dirty Girls )

Yeah, I was supposed to have some revisions in by Monday, and they are definitely still being worked on. My advisor just emailed me today saying she had comments on my third chapter and that she wanted to meet tomorrow. Now I'm all nervous and jittery, almost enough to inspire me to do work. I think my problem is, I feel as though now that I only have editing and a conclusion left, I'm very close to done, but I'm not. So I need to stop coasting. I also hatehatehate doing revisions, especially with something like this, in which I feel everything I've been saying is just so stupid and repetitive and completely not worth using an entire thesis to say.

Ugh. I just want to be over and done with so I can go around and have fun on LJ, soak up the sun (it's out! it's out! NJ is beautiful and full of flowers and blue skies!), lie around rereading His Dark Materials and the Terry Brooks book I'm only reading because I read the first two in the series. And I only read those because I've read everything else in that series. *sigh* I hate it when a favorite author from youth turns out to be not as exciting and new and different as I thought when I was little.

Not real spoilers for 7x22, but more reaction to fan reaction )


Tue, Apr. 8th, 2003 08:40 pm
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Finally, the last body chapter of my thesis is finished! Currently, the entire thing runs up to 82 pages, but I haven't written the conclusion yet. I refuse to do anything that has to do with schoolwork tonight and instead have fun, since editing and writing papers for other classes starts tomorrow.

After remembering stuff about the Forbidden Game and starting my little fic, I've started looking into Norse runes. I think I might end up buying a set... there's this nice place online that sells them carved from wood, where you can pick the wood. So I've borrowed a book on them from S. and started reading up. It'll be interesting to look at something like this that isn't tarot. Heh. Next up, Brian Froud's Faeries Oracle. Even if I never use them to read for people, I want them just because... faeries! How can you go wrong?

[livejournal.com profile] scrollgirl's entry that pointed me to an online debate between FayJay and Jemima got me thinking about slash again. Right now, I'm too tired to get all my thoughts down, but I left some comments in her LJ. It's always interesting to me to start thinking about slash, just because it feels like the flip side of what I'm doing for my thesis. Basically, I'm concentrating on how most of the scholarship on shojo manga is strictly limited to yaoi and shonen ai in an attempt to "solve the problem" of why female writers write stuff like this and why female readers would read stuff like this. And then it gets very complicated because the feminists have their ideas, then the queer theorists have their own ideas about the appropriation of gay culture for feminism, and etc. Whereas for slash, the problem almost seems to be taking it not seriously at all. And I'll stop now so I can coherently organize my thoughts and maybe even write something intelligible. My brain is in a state of mush right now.

My thesis...

Mon, Apr. 7th, 2003 07:57 pm
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... is still kicking my ass. [livejournal.com profile] tigermwd, I hate you so much for being done!

The third and final body chapter is now up to page fifteen, with no end in sight. Will the horror ever stop? Will the snow end and not kill the pretty flowers? Will Oyceter continue to go insane? Hopefully two yeses and a no.

I hate it when I've been writing for so long that I've lost my main argument somewhere in the muddle of supporting facts.

I also need new music, because mine is all Irish punk, slow and sappy Chinese music, or other random stuff. Happy, peppy, motivating music would be a good thing now.

Must make myself write so I can do fun things like watch Amelie with the boy and write more of my weird snippet.

Snow. Again.

Mon, Apr. 7th, 2003 01:18 pm
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This stupid state needs to make up its mind and stop being schizophrenic. It's April! It's spring! There are little tulip leaves and daffodils sprouting everywhere! What's with the snow?!

Need to move to California as soon as possible.

Still chugging along on this thesis chapter, damnit. Thank goodness the boy finished Zelda yesterday, or else who only knows what I would be doing instead of writing. Of course, it's probably the whole push to finish Zelda that was highly detrimental to the writing of the thesis. It would be nice if I had some sort of motivation...


Mon, Apr. 7th, 2003 02:41 am
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Only got to write a few more paragraphs of the snippet because of the thesis. I probably should get a beta for the snippet soon... hrm. Will try to find one.

The thesis is, of course, not going so well. I must hand this chapter in tomorrow, and yet, I only have six pages. It's ok. Yes. Because I wrote all of my last chapter on Monday, so this is actually an improvement, yes?

I'm very bad about this procrastination thing.

And because of the snippet, I started looking at rune stones on eBay (runes were big in the Forbidden Game trilogy), and then branched out to the rest of the internet. Soooo tempted to buy a set! Bad me!

Now back to writing about Utena.


Mon, Mar. 31st, 2003 05:32 pm
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Met with my advisor today. Apparently the thesis doesn't suck (this is good). However, it is a problem because basically, I think it's got a lot of good ideas in absolutely no coherent order at all. But this is ok. This is fixable. I also didn't get yelled at for not finished my third body chapter on time (I should have handed it in today). But this is good too, because this means I have more time to coherently outline and organize my thoughts, which is one of my weak points. I also found out that Brad is still working on his first chapter, so I feel much better.

Talked to professors about comps. Just my luck that this year my department decides to start seriously doing comps instead of asking a few questions about them during thesis defense. I talked to two of the three professors who are giving me comps, and apparently, they know less about them than I do. I don't know if this is good or bad.

My head hurts a lot because I spend too much time online.

I've burned all of Buffy season one and almost all of season two onto CD-R, and I'm now working on season 4. This by no means indicates that I won't buy the DVDs when they come out (still saving up for seasons 1 and 2), but I still like having them on my computer. However, my little laptop for some reason doesn't have enough space for me to keep all seven seasons of Buffy and all four of Angel on it, so I've decided to download all of them and burn them on disk in anticipation of the day I can get something ridiculously large, like 200 GB. MMMmmmm... hard drive space.

Also bidding on the original 1995 edition of the Vertigo tarot on ebay. I won the reprint a few months ago, and I decided I love the deck to pieces. I'd love to make it my regular reading deck, because I feel as though I can really GET the cards, as opposed to my Gendron deck (way too cute and fuzzy), my Osho Zen tarot (love it very very much, but it's a bit untraditional for normal readings of other people), and my Rider-Waite (standard readings, which is good, but no real resonance with me). The Vertigo deck is simply gorgeous in a creepy, Dave McKean style, rich in symbolism, takes off in interesting ways from the RWS, and have I mentioned I love it to pieces? So I'd like two decks, one for normal reading and one simply to ogle over. Plus, the reprint deck is very nice, but the cards are smaller, so the images are less clear, and the card stock is definitely flimsy. And I go through this entire rationale to justify spending probably up to 40 dollars for another deck when I've already got four. Sarah unleashed a demon when she got me into tarot =(.
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So I got some comments back from my advisor yesterday, and it looks as though there are going to be some major rewrites in order. *sigh* And she pointed out many parts where my argument is weak, or I'm repetitive and don't make much sense, which I did know. Most of the parts she commented on I knew were problems, but I still hate getting this type of comment back. I know it's helpful and improves my writing and my thesis, which is what everyone wants, but there's still this part of me that just wants to quibble and not take the criticism. Anyway, all of this makes me so much less eager to write the Utena chapter. I'm so bad about dealing with criticism.

Buffy and Angel ramblings, spoilers up to LMPTM and Players and whited out for eps beyond that )
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In the middle of page twelve, which means I will probably be done before midnight. So it's still in by Monday, which means I haven't really lied to my advisor, yes?

I hate the feeling that I've already said everything I wanted to say in the introduction, and the entire twelve pages of this chapter are simply reiterating everything I wrote in the intro and my first chapter. Almost can't wait to get to the Utena chapter, in which I can stop being all meta about anime and manga scholarship and just deal with a text! Yay symbolism!

However, now I'm extremely interested in why people read and write slash. My entire thesis is pretty much based on the fact that I think anime and manga shouldn't just be read in a sociological light, especially shojo manga, and especially shonen ai. All the critics mostly argue that Japanese girls read and write shonen ai and yaoi because they are afraid of their own sexuality or rebelling against patriarchal society. Or both. Is it that way for slash too? Or is it more something like a personal turn-on?

Anyway, these are my muddled thesis thoughts of the day.

Woo and hoo!

Mon, Mar. 17th, 2003 04:07 pm
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Thesis chapter two is down! Three more to go. And now, I am spending the remainder of today doing nothing that has anything to do with thesising or Japan in general. In other words, eating a nice dinner and hopefully getting very smashed later at Charter.

And to make my mood worse, just saw the NYTimes headlines. I guess nothing is going to stop this eh? Sigh.

Thesis update

Mon, Mar. 17th, 2003 03:05 am
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Well, apparently this journal has just become a way for me to keep track of my thesis progress. I'm currently at the middle of page 17 and just writing soooo slooooowly right now. Hopefully by tomorrow at 5 I'll have finished my leftover points and hit page 20. Yes. Go me go!

In other, happier, non-thesis-related things, [livejournal.com profile] wisteria_ finished her Eleven Straight Days of Rain fic, and it's a nice, realistically romantic Spuffy fic that just makes me want to beg Joss to show it. Or parts at least. Actually, I'll just settle for the general idea... please ME, toss me a bone?

In other, non-happy, non-thesis-related things, it really looks like we're going to war. I don't really have anything to say. I feel bad, but I've been concentrating on my thesis so much that I haven't really been paying attention. And I guess I've just been expecting this to happen to matter what, looking at the way Bush has been doing things, so this is almost anticlimactic. Well. Please, whoever's in charge of this place, don't get too many people killed?

And now, to sleep, in preparation for more thesising tomorrow.

Spring is here...

Sun, Mar. 16th, 2003 02:34 pm
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... but I'm stuck inside writing. Hrm. I'm sure everyone who reads this thing is very sick already of thesis talk. Next chapter, I'm going to make sure to start waaay ahead of time (i.e. on Tuesday) so that while I'll still have to write, it won't be in ten hour blocks of time.

I got my intro back with corrections from my advisor, and thank everything that can be thanked, it looks ok. Sure, there's some restructuring, plus a new paragraph at the top saying why I'm writing this thesis, but most of the comments are little syntax changes or sentence flow. I'm not sure if this is because my intro is actually ok or because she doesn't really know enough about anime and manga to really deeply critique it. For what it's worth, she says I write well! ^_^ This makes me happy... I've just been thinking that through college my writing quality has really declined because all I do is churn out papers without really focusing on the writing itself anymore.

It really is a beautiful day outside though. These are the few weeks in which New Jersey is not only tolerable, but actually pleasant to live in. Everything smells kind of green and wet and muddy, so fresh, especially when compared to the biting winter frost. I like being able to smell the change in seasons. The snow everywhere is melting, people are walking around and playing frisbee, and hopefully they'll plant the flowers in the garden soon.

And yet, I'm stuck inside here writing. *sigh*
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Bottom of page 6. Go me, go!

I constantly vacillate between worrying that I can't possibly stretch all my points out into 25 or so pages and worrying that I can't possibly squeeze all my points to fit 25 or so pages. I wish I could make up my mind.

The writing still goes as slowly as ever, especially since I have recently become distracted by a video game, of all things. I don't game. I'm not good at it. But this is some electronic board game type thing, which actually doesn't involve anything like hand-eye coordination or good reflexes. Perfect for me.

I forced the boy into helping me make a new icon, which is sitting on my page right now, yay!

Reading some of these newspaper articles on anime and manga, it still amazes me how stereotyped they are. In a 1987 Wall Street Journal article: Manga is all about sex and violence! And millions of other things as well. But mostly sex and violence! It's getting a lot better now, especially after Pokemon got so popular in 1999, followed by Princess Mononoke. But those articles are all about: Wow, look at this strange thing called anime! Doesn't it look funny? Aren't the people strange-looking? But it's good! Really! Well... some of it. And now, after Spirited Away and more waves of Pokemon-esque things, like Yu-Gi-Oh, everyone's suddenly talking about Miyazaki like he's the next god or something.

Anyway, that's what I've been writing about for the past few pages.
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I have hit page two of my second thesis chapter! Of course, a full 20 or so is due on Monday, so this is a bit of a slow start. It also doesn't help that I took a break from thinking to watch Chicago for the fourth time. I kid you not. It's still good, though! The boy theorizes that this is because it's not so much like sitting through a movie as like listening to a favorite CD again.

And again.

And again.

Hee. I can't believe it's actually spring break now. It doesn't feel like it at all because everyone's staying here to work on theses and all. And now begins a week of scrounging around for food, oh joy.


The procrastination has gone on long enough... back to work.

It's in

Fri, Mar. 7th, 2003 04:45 pm
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Yay. My first chapter is in, as well as my working bibliography, all before five. Good job, me. Unfortunately, it's not a very good chapter and will probably need a great deal of revising later. And I fudged a bit on the bibliography. I hate all the weird MLA things. I mean, citing DVDs and stuff is frustrating, especially when they are Japanese and you can't for the life of you figure out when they were released. Grrrr.

My high school friend and her boyfriend are then coming over in the evening, which will mean more running around for me. I am glad I'll be seeing her, but in the end, having to play host always just gets me more stressed and even more in a tizzy. Especially with all this thesis stuff going around.

More on Flogging Molly later (they were awesome).


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