Sakura of DOOM

The packing is not commencing. I've gotten less and less sleep over the past few days. Yesterday night had me tossing and turning for a good two hours and a full five hours of sleep. I feel like this would have been enough two years ago, but it's definitely not now.

Of course, the day I do this and sleep till 9 is the day I have a full day of meetings, starting at 8:30. I ran around and tried to make myself presentable for work, then attempted several times to give my very stubborn rat his antibiotics. I think he's finally figured out when I pick him up, it's not necessarily for a happy scritching.

I left for work with rat scratches on my hands and rat medicine on my pants, then remembered I should probably call the office to let people know I'd be in a little late. Of course, this would be the point at which I discovered I had forgotten to charge my cell phone the night before.

Work consisted of desperate attempts to stay awake via caffeination, a full day of meetings coupled with a metric ton of work. Naturally, days like today never happen on days like yesterday, when I didn't have much to do because everything that should have come in to me was late. So of course, it all came down today, when I had the least amount of time at my desk.

Days like these are also the days everyone decides to consult me about things, coupled with late afternoon meetings, early morning meetings, and meetings with people I don't work well with.

And then I went home with the intent of packing up more of my kitchen and driving it to the condo. But the sky was blue and the sun was (still) out, and I had Happy Mix #5 playing (electric guitars and an irreverent "Lalalalalala"), and I decided I was eating so badly anyway that I really should enjoy it. And that my budget was thoroughly not in hand, but that my mom would be here in two days (free food!) and I'd stop paying rent in about four days.

So I went home, and it was a beautiful summer day even though it was really near evening in April. I took time to really read LJ, then headed down for woodfire, thin-crust pizza (I'll miss being in walking distance of it). Aqua shirt and jeans and pink flip-flops, bright sun and cool wind after weeks of grey rain, all these mean summer, no matter what month it is. And I love summer, I bask in it, I could lie outside on the green grass all day. One of the doors leading outside was oddly locked, but that only meant a longer route by the grass and the fountain and finally being outside after huddling under an umbrella for so long.

Starbucks has brought back the green tea frappucino (best served without melon syrup), and I sucked my whipped cream through my straw as I flipped through Easter-colored spelling flashcards promoting a movie on a spelling bee and learned that "smaragdine" means "of or relating to emeralds; or, having the color of emeralds." I know Starbucks is a large corporation, but I'm glad they have spring green and pale yellow and spelling words everywhere.

I waited about ten minutes for my pizza and listened to restaurant noises, read a little on the curious lives of human cadavers and wondered what the pizza guys thought of my reading material.

I am full, I am sleepy, I have music playing and fat rats, and an extra day of packing hassle is a small price to pay for this.

I feel like I've been whinging an awful lot the past week or so, and since I had such a lovely, wonderfully ordinarily happy day today, might as well make another list of things that made me happy today.

I think the best part was that it was so ordinary and everyday, because while I love things to look forward to and plan for, it's a lovely feeling knowing that small things can cause joy and peace and utter contentment with the world and my place in it. It's particularly nice since lately I've felt so tired of being responsible at work and at home and tired of being adult, and it's such a gift to be able to accept it and love it and to just be.

Sorry, I get sappy ;).

Anyhow, things that made me happy today:

1. Getting all the tough spots while painting a wall and watching the tape come off, touching up the corners, and marvelling at how much difference two coats of paint can make (I helped a friend paint).

2. Soft yet chewy bagels with whipped cream cheese, all squishy and delicious.

3. Talking with a non-LJ person about meds in a sane, practical, everyday way, in which it isn't special or different, but just a fact of life.

4. Being able to joke around with people I just met.

5. Small sugar crystals caught in my cappucino foam when I lick the stirrer.

6. Blood red leaves coming out on the cherry trees (though it also makes me a little sad, because I miss the cherry blossoms, but also happy because it's another season and my third year of seeing cherry trees bloom in California).

7. Poppies blooming by the side of the road, giant heads suspended on twisty, furry stalks.

8. Snow on the mountains in the distance.

9. Going down the highway while the road is clear at 1 in the morning, singing and just basking in the feeling of peace and contentment after a good day.

10. The piano parts of Vienna Teng's "Harbor," played very loudly, and all the emotion and excitement in the chords.

11. Hanging around people who are glad to see me.

12. Sunshine and blue skies, despite the snow on the mountains and the really cold air, and giant fluffy clouds around 5 in the afternoon that remind me of fingering weight yarn for baby blankets, all pastel and acrylic, but wonderful and soft all the same.

13. A completed crochet square for my next project, small and lacy and filagreed.

14. Dol sot bibim bap: the sizzling of the rice in the hot stone pot, the vegetables and the egg, stirring in the hot sauce and taking the first piping hot bite.

15. Mint hershey kisses.

16. My friend's apartment, which is lovely and modern and coordinated and has a bright blue wall with white curtains that reminds me of summer skies. And her comfortable loft with all sorts of crafty books.

17. Friends being engaged and starting with wedding planning, and watching the guy tuck the girl in on the sofa, without her waking up to notice.

18. Chocolate and vanilla ice cream on a freezing cold night, numb fingers against the bowl.

19. Hearing from someone that they enjoy working with me.

20. Licks and small, dry rat tongues; fat squishy rats in my lap, little noses stuck through the bars of the cage when I come home late at night, and rats begging to be played with.

21. Watching someone watch Pride and Prejudice (2005 mnovie) for the first time, both of us laughing at the same places, at my favorite lines, at the mutual awwwww-ing over Darcy in the end.

22. Hearing Tom Quinn in my head while watching Matthew MacFadyen as Darcy, Keira Knightley's openness and emotion as Elizabeth (I never thought I'd say that, but I'm glad I like the movie as much as I do).

23. Watching a movie while other people play poker on the side; the sound of people hanging out and having fun and just being.

24. My soft, warm bed and high thread count cotton sheets and silk-filled comforter, squishy down pillows, being toasty warm on a cold night.

And the lovely thing is, there are more things planned for tomorrow and the week ahead as well!

I am snuggled up on the couch with toasty warm rats on my lap, and the first loaf of bread I have ever baked sits on the stove, cooling down so I can eat it. I had white bean rosemary soup of heres_luck fame for dinner, and the beans were velvety and delicious (two phrases that I never thought could describe beans before I cooked). I can see the beautiful, hand dyed, lace weight yarn I bought at the yarn market at Stitches West, and it's beautiful and soft and angora and I will make a lovely lace shawl from it and kill my fingers in the process (ow, the pain of size 0 needles). My hands are recovering from kneading said bread (dill and onion), and even though I swore just a few hours ago to never try and make bread again until I got myself a stand mixer, I'm already reconsidering because it smells so good. I'm in the thick of The King of Attolia, and damn, it's good. And my Tivo is recording ice dancing for me as I type.

Ah, life, you are good.

I win!!

I came home from hanging out at a coworker's (very fun and relaxing, and got a mix CD to boot), to find that:

1. My Amazon package that I just placed an order for this morning has shipped!!! Fruits Basket! Joy!

2. My lemon curd has set! I can actually spread it onto my scones with a knife!

3. My clotted cream has clotted! It is actually the consistency of soft cream cheese, like the recipe says!

4. audiography is finally having holiday week! Hey, I like Christmas and Christmas carols. And random indie non-Christmas carols, like the Pogues' "Fairytale of New York."

5. People at work liked the gingerbread and applesauce cake I made! I was pretty sure about the applesauce cake, because it's the first thing I ever baked in California and the first recipe I messed around with, and I love it to bits. But it was nice to know that Try #1 at gingerbread worked.

It is so fun just paging through all the unfulfilled Yuletide requests from last year. Fic ideas galore! And I don't even write fic, although the list sorely tempts me. Plus, it's just fun seeing what goes through people's minds.

I had my first good non-stressful day in three weeks. Murphy still seems to be having lots and lots of fun wreaking totaly havoc on my life, but that's ok. I get to see rachelmanija on Friday and masqthephlsphr and mamculuna Thurs! Joy! I had to keep reminding myself to just sing along with my mix CDs in the car and not to watch the clock and get irritated by traffic. Plus, Vienna Teng's "Shasta" was playing, and it's one of my favorite driving songs, and I sang very loudly and out of tune and cared not at all. My windshield bounces my voice back to me and makes me sound very good. Well, to me at least. I try not to inflict it on too many passengers ;).

Also, I spent a good two hours at my bi-weekly knitting circle (I have two knitting circles, that's how big of a yarn geek I am) and came out blissfully relaxed from conversation and just the happiness of a straight two hours knitting and crocheting. And I was thinking during the drive home how wonderful it was to have yarn through my fingers and to make it into things and the sheer joy of having things come together because of something my fingers were doing. I always think back to Orson Scott Card's Alvin Maker series; in the first book, Alvin mentions something about the magic of making things keeping the Unmaker at bay, even if it's little grass baskets, even if everything will eventually be unmade. I doubt I'm doing anything half so noble or grand, but there's something very firmly satisfying about knowing that I am making. Doesn't quite matter what, or how well, just that I am.

On another note, it is very much fall now. I don't quite know what happened in the past two days, but there's a definite bite to the air that wasn't there a week before; everything smells like fall. And my fingers are getting stiff just sitting here and typing this, which means I need to knit myself fingerless gloves ^_^. I wore boots to work for the past two days, and my leather jacket! Fall indeed.

And I'm wearing dress pants again, instead of cute skirts and bitty mules and/or flip-flops. It's funny -- I only really noticed how different my boots made me feel today, when I was striding with determination down the hallway, taking huge steps. When I'm in mules, I sort of walk more femininely (is that even a word?); I can hear them click and slap against my feet, and when I'm in skirts, I can feel them sway around my legs. I love that. And flip-flops make me sort of flap about with big duck feet. Boots apparently make me determined. It's fun!

I know people mock California for not having real seasons, but it does! Well, at least it does at my company campus -- I've already spotted three trees which are in that awkward stage of molting, half green, half red, probably waiting desperately for the day they'll burst metaphorically into flame and stun everyone. And the trees around the cafeteria will soon be turning brilliantly red as well, and the gingkos in the park right across the street by the library will soon be turning bright gold.

Last year I remember one day in which the falling leaves, coin yellow and fan shaped, made a beautiful circle around the tree, borders slowly fading into the green grass. I tried taking a picture with my phone cam, but it couldn't capture the brightness and the contrast. I did what any sensible person would do and shuffled my feet through it, and back again, and then several times around, then kicked up leaves every chance I got just to hear the crinkles and to see them float back down in flurries.

I am very sensible, really.

Sigh. Still sick. Showed up at work for a few hours, and then went home instead of going to the departmental outing. Am grumpy because really wanted to go to said outing. Am also missing free food.

You can tell I'm not feeling well because I'm actually passing up on an opportunity for free food.

And now, memery!

( avrelia asks me about historical or traditional fashion and rats )

( londonkds tagged me with five things that make me happy )

( cychi's question on more rat stuff! )

( Top five silly vids for Yoon )

( Favorite fruits for amphibiouswords )

And now I cheat and make you guys comment even more! Muahaha!

"List two (or more, I guess) fictional characters from books or TV shows and I'll give you my take on the relationship (whether friendship-family or romantic) between them. And I saw someone else do this at the time and it was fun: feel free to include characters even if you don't think I know the source material, and we can see how much I've picked up through fannish osmosis."

It's only been an hour of my birthday so far and it is already quite good! Yoon gave me a present when she was here, which I was completely not expecting, and it was the hardcover first edition of McKinley's Beauty, signed, and just... squeee!!!!! I can't believe she went through all the trouble to get it signed at Wiscon and lug it back and to remember and I am just so happy because even though I've owned several of the HarperCollins paperback with the beautiful goldish cover which I've read to bits, but the very first version of Beauty I read in the school library was this very hardcover, with the same cover, and it is evoking the nostalgia of camping out in the library and reading it so quickly because I couldn't wait for the book to come from our Scholastic book orders.

And on Thursday I had yummy yummy sushi with my auntie and am so happy and amazed that she remembered about the knitting needle kit even though she couldn't find it. The sushi was really, really good. Really. Mmmm. Fried oyster sushi. I don't care if it's not traditional, it was delicious. It was the crispiness of the fried oysters and the hotness of them fresh from something, coupled with the creaminess of the avocado and rice and vinegar and mmmmmm and the yummy crunchy yellow tobiko.

And today the people at work threw a surprise party (which wasn't that much of a surprise, since they do that for all birthdays, but it was still very, very nice!), and I had very good marbled chocolate cheesecake with the delicious chocolate crust, and oh my gosh, so good. I just finished off the leftovers of the cake, and mmmmm. Creaminess chocolatey cheesecake.

And cychi called and I have not talked to him for forever because he is currently in Taiwan, and I am just happy and very content sitting around and feeling all indulged and luxurious. I'm just so surprised and so touched that people have done things! Wow.

I have a bowl of cherries sitting around, and a lot of fruit and lemonade in the fridge and white corn, and my rats are fat and cute (must take Fitz-rat to vet on Sunday, note to self, make appointment), and I just watched Little Shop of Horrors, which is about a carnivorous plant and is a musical to boot, and so all is right with the world. I just feel so satisfied and happy and full in all senses.

Read a piece on the marriages going on in SF right now, and awwwww ^_^. Well, except for the part that they've had to start turning away people because they don't have the capacity =(.

Still loving Firefly. Finally saw Trash, which was hilarious! Plus, naked Mal, always of the good. And I like Inara more when she gets ruffled and angry instead of being a composed Companion.

Still completely adore Simon.