(no subject)

[oyceter]

ginmar's last few posts in general make me feel very queasy and very angry that I am female. I hate that I have to think about this, that I worry about walking outside when it's dark and I'm alone but my boyfriend doesn't. I hate that people I knew at college laughed at the Take Back the Night marches and thought they were unnecessary and quoted the same kinds of statistics on male rape or females lying about being raped (ala Disclosure, stupid ass book). I hate that I feel nidgy and frightened whenever a strange man talks to me, even if he's just being friendly. I hate that I feel almost physically threatened when men invade my personal space. I also hate that my mom tells stories of people being raped to make sure I am more careful, that my sister sometimes blames unwelcome attention from guys on herself being "too friendly." I hate that when she does that, my mom substantiates it and says my sister should be more careful who she smiles to, because people could get the wrong impression.

I hate that this fear has power over my life just because I am female.

Comments

Re: My story

[bhadrasvapna.livejournal.com]

I think what DeBecker presents is a public concern and ultimately responsible for much of what is wrong with society. He shows how we are taught to ignore our inner wisdom. One of the other books I think everyone should read is Christiane Northrup's Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom. Men have this inner wisdom as well (though it isn't cyclic), but I haven't found a good book about it or I would but that on the list as well.

It is ignoring this or worse telling it to shut up that messes people up. Not just in this area, but all facets of life. Angelus sums it up well in "Release." These people lash out because they see it as the way to stop the pain. Why not go to the source of that pain? That pain comes from not being who we are. We aren't who we are because we don't listen to our inner wisdom. What protects us can solve the problem in the first place.

As a public concern, how do we stop this sort of violence? Until we start dealing with the source of pain, we are just putting band aids on things. We can just treat it after the effect. If this, then that. If we want to stop that, deal with this.

Violence against women is directed there because of misogyny and that should be dealt with, but that will only cause that violence to go elsewhere. It will change the target, not the violence. I don't think this should be a women's issue in that women are the ones dealing with it because it happens to women. I think it should be a human issue because it involves humans. The person committing a crime is a victim as well, a victim of a world that is hard and bright and violent. The vast majority of abusers were abused themselves. When they cross the line from abused to abuser, does that mean they no longer deserve help?

Responsibility should be on society. Not to just put on band aids, but to get to the source of the problem. Otherwise the weeds will keep growing.

Re: My story

[oyceter]

*nods* Definitely.

Totally off the subject, but is Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom very different from Our Bodies, Our Selves? I've been eyeing the first one at the bookstore, but I've heard the most about the second. I think the similar titles just confuse me.

Re: My story

[bhadrasvapna.livejournal.com]

I think they are pretty different. Our Bodies, Ourselves, for its time (1969) was an incredible book. It finally gave women medical information about their bodies. It was an important step. It's a step, not the finish line. Problem was many think it is the finish line. They accept the patriarchal medical model that Western medicine is founded on.

Dr. Northrup does one better. The stuff in is pretty much common knowledge today. They did an update, but it doesn't celebrate women like Women's bodies, Women's Wisdom (whose title probably comes from the classic). Our Bodies didn't really address the mind-body connection like Dr. Northrup does.

The body stuff the Patriarchal model gives is important, but the mind cannot be dismissed. I like Women's Bodies better.

Re: My story

[oyceter]

Thanks for the info ^_^. I'll remember that next time I'm in the bookstore.