(no subject)

[oyceter]

My sleeping schedule has grown even stranger, which I thought was impossible -- in fact, it's so strange, it's actually normal! Well, almost. I've been in the boy's room watching Food Network lately, and I found I tend to just collapse at around nine.. boy wakes me up at eleven to go home, I sleep at midnight, and wake up at eight. Today (Sunday!), I woke up by myself at 7:30. It must be the jetlag. Hopefully this continues.

I'm still horribly homesick, even though I know if I actually did move back home, I'd probably be just as aimless and discontent there as I am here. I think I just kind of miss having my family around and not having to worry about things. It's funny -- as a kid, my entire goal in life was to not grow up. And now that I have, I don't know what to do with myself. Sometimes I think that maybe I'm just sad/discontent/depressed all around, and my mind just grabs at whatever reason that it thinks makes sense, be it being homesick, being bored with the job, or who knows what.

Met up with someone I knew in high school yesterday, which was cool... she's still in college. I miss college. I miss not just having people my age around all the time. I think I mostly miss the academics (since I am a giant geek).. I miss the lectures and the precepts and the readings, and lord help me, maybe even the papers.

Already thinking of looking for another job now. Feeling vaguely guilty because I haven't been at the bookstore all that long, but since another person is leaving, it looks like their plan to start me buying (which was supposed to happen as soon as I got back from Taiwan) isn't going to happen for a looong time now. And I hate coordinating, with a passion. Not that much of a people person to begin with, but dealing with all the grumpy customers, ugh. The only problem is, again, I don't know what to look for or even what I want to do. Huh.

Comments

I miss academia, too

[masqthephlsphr.livejournal.com]

The being a student part of it, anyway. I was in school forever and forever, as a college student (4 years), as a grad student (9 years!), and then I tried to be a professor and it just wasn't the same.

I remember one day, during the two-year period I took off between grad-school stints, I was working in the corporate world and I went to the University of Houston one day in the middle of the day to talk to a prof about taking some classes because I was thinking of getting back into grad school in a new field.

I walked across the grass, with all the students around me, on a campus I had never been on before, and instantly I was at home. I was so at home I almost cried. You know, everyone has a place where they "belong" without even trying, and that place for me was being a student in a university setting.

But the problem is, you can't stay a professional student forever. You have to move on, and I lost the place I belonged so well. I ended up teaching for a while, getting a job on a university campus, working for professors and grad students, and it's necessary, I think, for me, but it's not the same as being a full-time student.

*sigh*

Re: I miss academia, too

[oyceter]

Yeah... too bad I can't be a student forever =(.

But talking to people still in school about their classes and their papers and their dorm life... I miss it so much.

It was a bit (actually, a whole lot) of a disappointment when I hit senior year and realized I couldn't do this for as long as I wanted to. And work just sounds so boring still...

Well, my solution

[masqthephlsphr.livejournal.com]

Is to write novels about it. You can take the girl out of grad school, but you can't take grad school out of the girl.

I can relive dorm life, classes, fights with my diss advisor, or whatever fun and games I had in college through my characters.

It's one solution, anyway. ; )

Re: Well, my solution

[oyceter]

Hey, sounds like a good one.

Right now mine is just going back to grad school...

Re: Well, my solution

[masqthephlsphr.livejournal.com]

Right now mine is just going back to grad school...

Sounds fun!

Sounds familiar.