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Sun, Feb. 1st, 2004 11:43 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oyceterMy sleeping schedule has grown even stranger, which I thought was impossible -- in fact, it's so strange, it's actually normal! Well, almost. I've been in the boy's room watching Food Network lately, and I found I tend to just collapse at around nine.. boy wakes me up at eleven to go home, I sleep at midnight, and wake up at eight. Today (Sunday!), I woke up by myself at 7:30. It must be the jetlag. Hopefully this continues.
I'm still horribly homesick, even though I know if I actually did move back home, I'd probably be just as aimless and discontent there as I am here. I think I just kind of miss having my family around and not having to worry about things. It's funny -- as a kid, my entire goal in life was to not grow up. And now that I have, I don't know what to do with myself. Sometimes I think that maybe I'm just sad/discontent/depressed all around, and my mind just grabs at whatever reason that it thinks makes sense, be it being homesick, being bored with the job, or who knows what.
Met up with someone I knew in high school yesterday, which was cool... she's still in college. I miss college. I miss not just having people my age around all the time. I think I mostly miss the academics (since I am a giant geek).. I miss the lectures and the precepts and the readings, and lord help me, maybe even the papers.
Already thinking of looking for another job now. Feeling vaguely guilty because I haven't been at the bookstore all that long, but since another person is leaving, it looks like their plan to start me buying (which was supposed to happen as soon as I got back from Taiwan) isn't going to happen for a looong time now. And I hate coordinating, with a passion. Not that much of a people person to begin with, but dealing with all the grumpy customers, ugh. The only problem is, again, I don't know what to look for or even what I want to do. Huh.
I'm still horribly homesick, even though I know if I actually did move back home, I'd probably be just as aimless and discontent there as I am here. I think I just kind of miss having my family around and not having to worry about things. It's funny -- as a kid, my entire goal in life was to not grow up. And now that I have, I don't know what to do with myself. Sometimes I think that maybe I'm just sad/discontent/depressed all around, and my mind just grabs at whatever reason that it thinks makes sense, be it being homesick, being bored with the job, or who knows what.
Met up with someone I knew in high school yesterday, which was cool... she's still in college. I miss college. I miss not just having people my age around all the time. I think I mostly miss the academics (since I am a giant geek).. I miss the lectures and the precepts and the readings, and lord help me, maybe even the papers.
Already thinking of looking for another job now. Feeling vaguely guilty because I haven't been at the bookstore all that long, but since another person is leaving, it looks like their plan to start me buying (which was supposed to happen as soon as I got back from Taiwan) isn't going to happen for a looong time now. And I hate coordinating, with a passion. Not that much of a people person to begin with, but dealing with all the grumpy customers, ugh. The only problem is, again, I don't know what to look for or even what I want to do. Huh.
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