On the notion of the ghetto pass

[oyceter]

After the great SGA race debates of DOOM, witchqueen had a post on earning a ghetto pass, or "How not to be scared of the FoC-ing cabal." ("FoC-ing cabal" being "fans-of-color cabal," as coined by witchqueen)

I nodded a lot and thought, "Yes! Thank you!"

If anyone's interested, I can tell you what I look at with regard to ghetto passes in discussions of racism, but really, that's just me and I change my mind every other second.

But I think there's something witchqueen didn't explicity state, and something that will often get buried in the list of things that various people look at re: a ghetto passes, which is:

Not only is there no short cut to a ghetto pass, there is also no guarantee of keeping a ghetto pass. There is no checklist, and even if there were, you could do everything on it and still fall flat on your face. In other words, you may be the best ally ever in terms of black-white dynamics, but you can still say stupid things about Asians. Or vice versa. Or multiply for multi-racial people, for people of color outside of the US, for people who can "pass," for women of color, for third culture kids, for so many non-privileged people.

And no matter what your track record is, there is always a chance that the FoC-ing cabal will be mean to you (OMG! Woe and terror!) because the FoC-ing cabal, like all other groups out there, is made of individual people, and people have this funny habit of disagreeing and not being monolithic.

Because of this, the ghetto pass isn't a pass from fear or a pass that you can wave around to do what you want after you get it. And that sucks, I know. To give you my perspective (and I am by no means the expert or the magical minority fairy), every single time I post about race and racism, I am scared that I will be yelled at by people, particularly by people whose anti-racist stance and views and work I respect a lot. I hope that I am a part of the FoC-ing cabal and that I do have a ghetto pass, but I think these are things that are very easy to claim and very difficult to keep.

The point isn't having a ghetto pass; the point is in doing the work that goes into a ghetto pass. And to keep doing it, and to do it even and especially when you're scared out of your mind and certain that you are going to start the next flame war of DOOM by pointing out, "Um. I love this show, but why are all the POC dead?"

And even then, even when you put things on the line, there are no gold stars, no passes, no official designations of "okay-ness." It's just work, work, and more work.

And then you get tired, and you bitch, and you kick this broken world and wish it were fixed already. And you let something slide because you just want to spend time with people and for once, just once, not be the one to call people out on their whiteness or their unthinking assumptions, and you feel guilty because you know what silence means. And you read things and think and Google and think more and then watch your comfort show with problematic racial representation because your head hurts and you want to relax. Some days you throw the remote at it, some days you don't. And you find allies in the least expected of places, and you get kicked in the head when someone you (formerly) deeply respected tells you there is no racism where she lives. You post and people respect you; you post again and get called out on unthinking racism.

And then you go to bed, and you get up the next day, and you do it all over again.

Comments

[yeloson.livejournal.com]

...every single time I post about race and racism, I am scared that I will be yelled at by people, particularly by people whose anti-racist stance and views and work I respect a lot.

I guess it's interesting, because I have more fear about being yelled at by people who I didn't know held racist views (which kind of sums up my last 2 years of dealing with people, finding out ugly stuff about them in their behavior). See, for me, I know the people who will check me (especially regarding feminism, or heterosexism, etc.) will be doing it because they want me to be a better person, and that odds are, whatever I did, probably hurt them.

I guess for me, it's caring about other people that makes me ok with being called out on being wrong, because that's how I learn to act right. And knowing I'm doing right by people I care about, that's all the reward I need.

[oyceter]

Your icon rocks!

Oh huh! That's really interesting. I've found I don't care as much being yelled at by people whom I didn't know held racist views because then I get angry at them and feel betrayed, but I'm not as scared, if that makes sense. Because they've already lost some of my respect by just doing that.

Whereas being called out by people who care hurts and is scary because I know it hurt them and because I want to do the right thing but am not very good at it sometimes. So it matters to me more.

[minnow1212.livejournal.com]

I have no particular response, but...here. reading. thinking.

[oyceter]

I'm really glad you're still here.

[seajules]

There's something else too, to my mind. Those who start consciously thinking about race specifically to get a ghetto pass are already missing a fundamental part of the whole concept. It's not about getting a pass and being told you're okay. It's about attempting to understand, and to be mindful of our fellow human beings, and not say stupid things that hurt our friends. That's always an ongoing process.

Which is what you just said, really, so consider this a "me too" comment.

[oyceter]

Yes, exactly! sophia_helix posted last year during IBARW that you don't get points for having non-white friends; they're your friends, they're not proof of anything. You do it because you think it's the right thing to do, even if it's the hard thing to do, and that's what makes it worth doing.

[seajules]

Yes. After all, sexists don't get passes by declaring, "But my wife is a woman!" Most people can see how stupid that is. Same thing with the cries of, "But I'm not racist! I have non-white friends and relatives!" Or even, "I can't be misogynist! I'm a woman!" I mean, how often do we think of our friends, loved ones, and selves as exceptions to more general rules that have been socialized into us? "The thing I like about Chris is, he's gay, but he doesn't act gay." "That Joyce, she's not like other Asians. She's honest." "Beth is always so logical, she's more of an honorary guy than a woman." It's the opposite of assuming one person is representative of an entire subsection of the population, but it's just as damaging. And damning.

[oyceter]

Oh man, yes. I was so shocked by getting several comments to the effect of "I think Asians are like whites" last year, largely because ... well, for the first, obvious, part, I don't feel white. And secondly, it feels like a larger version of the "Oh, she's a good Asian" or "She's just like a guy!"

[seajules]

Yes, and it's so frustrating to try to make people understand why that's insulting, most of the time. In an inequal society, why wouldn't you rather be thought of as white than Asian? Why wouldn't you be flattered to be "one of the guys?" It stuns me that so many people don't get that I'm not looking to be absorbed into the privileged group, and yet they don't.

[kintail.livejournal.com]

I don't know if I've thanked you recently for your posts and links... or if I ever have but I just meant to and never got up the courage... but I know I've never thanked you enough.

Your posts and the ones you linked to and the books you've recommended have given me a lot: not just "a lot to think about" -- I've always been the type to try to analyze why people (and I) act and react the way they do to others, though not often successfully -- but a big box of tools and a strategy for thinking about it which makes me actually feel like I can get somewhere with it all, working *through* the issues in my own mind instead of just working at them, unable to make pieces fit, and having to start over the next time.

I don't have a lot to point to externally yet as I'm still extremely shy about even commenting about race issues, nevermind posting about them. A lot of that is my social phobia in general about potentially getting involved in a heated argument, plus health issues that leave me with no physical resilience to stress and anxiety and adrenaline surges. Which I'm not putting forth as excuses, just extra things I constantly have to be working through too, as I start venturing out of my shell to comment a bit like this. Even though there's not much substance to this comment except talking about me, and I meant it to be about thanking you.

I guess the point is, I want you know you *are* making a difference with your posts.

[oyceter]

Oh! Thank you! You have no idea how good that is to hear; I usually feel like I am both a) preaching to the choir and b) running into walls at the same time.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and think, and I'm glad I had even a small role in that.

well im' going to yell at you...

[delux-vivens.livejournal.com]

because. this?

the FoC-ing cabal, like all other groups out there, is made of individual people, and people have this funny habit of disagreeing and not being monolithic.

is COMPLETE CRAZY TALK. there is a PARTY LINE. there is a SCRIPT!. there are CODEWORDS! POC ARE A MONOLITH, doggone it!!! stop acting like there's some sort of diversity! you know it's A SHAM@2!!!!!LEVENTY!1111

ok, i'm done now.

*tips out, giggling*

Re: well im' going to yell at you...

[oyceter]

OH NOES! I lost my official POC cribsheet! People will start to think I'm in individual instead of a representative of all Asians and POC around!!

Heeeee.

Re: well im' going to yell at you...

[delux-vivens.livejournal.com]

well I plan to use my Black Privilege (TM) to put an end to that, best believe!

[heyiya.livejournal.com]

Hey, just dropping in to say I'm friending you on this account. I've been admiring you from afar, in comments and communities and such, for a while and I think I need to read you regularly. :)

The point isn't having a ghetto pass; the point is in doing the work that goes into a ghetto pass. And to keep doing it, and to do it even and especially when you're scared out of your mind

Yes, yes, yes – it's so much more scary to actually step up and talk about stuff than it is to sit at home and read about it and stay quiet. But the things that are scary are so often the most important things for us to do, and that's especially true when it comes to drawing attention to oppression. In a way, the "ghetto pass" is a misleading term, because it isn't a matter of earning something once and for all, of course... it's a matter of continually making the choice to do the scary thing, continually thinking, being able to see past the knee-jerk responses and binary argument styles we're trained into. And the more privileged positions you hold, the more responsibility you have to work hard at the process... At least that's how I tend to see it. And I dare say my practice doesn't live up to my ideals as often as I'd like it to.

[oyceter]

Oh, thank you!!

it's a matter of continually making the choice to do the scary thing

Yeah, very much so! I've been trying to do it more in RL, which is even scarier than doing it on LJ, because at least on LJ, I know I have allies, while in RL, people generally look at me like I am a liberal freak and the PC police if I even dare suggest that maybe it is not funny to say things like, "Are all these stupid emails coming from Russia?"

And I think everyone's practice doesn't live up to their ideals, but that is why we keep going and trying ^_^.

[ginny-t.livejournal.com]

I was surprised to read that you worry when you post about racism. But I guess I can see why. If it helps at all, I see you as one of the warriors against it.

[oyceter]

Oh, thank you!

I was surprised to read that you worry when you post about racism.

Yeah, every single time I post. It's getting easier than it used to be, though. I think part of that is because I am resigned to getting into flamewars on race now, but a larger part of it is because more and more people on my flist are thinking and posting about race so I don't feel as alone as I did when the Great Cultural Appropriation Debate of DOOM and the PotC debate of DOOM happened.

[takumashii.livejournal.com]

I just want to say that I've really appreciated your posts about this.

I'm white, and work at a library in a predominantly African-American neighborhood. And there are the days I feel less clueless than I was last year-- and there are the days when I feel like I have only begun to chip at my cluelessness. There was the day I grinned for an hour because someone called me "sister library lady," and there were the days when I hear people call me a racist because I tell the teenagers at the computer to be quiet, or because I don't tell the teenagers at the computer to be quiet. And there are the days I catch myself thinking something racist. There are the days when I feel fiercely proud of this neighborhood and this library and the work I do, and there are the days when I feel ashamed of the local government because they took so long to do anything about our tiny little unfunded shoebox of a library, while they built big beautiful libraries in the white neighborhoods.

And mostly what this means is that I fall on my face more than I did when I didn't have to think about race, and I do it more publicly. No gold stars-- just work.

[oyceter]

Library! You are a library person!

I love my library because there are actually lots and lots of POC there. On the other hand, that also makes me sad, because I am fairly certain that there are lots of POC there because they are less well-off financially.

But yeah -- falling flat on my face seems to be a part of just talking and thinking about race, but I would rather do that than to ignore it all together.

[minim_calibre]

I have had this post open for a week now, because I keep meaning to/wanting to/needing to comment, but I have nothing smart to say, just that I *see* a positive difference in fannish responses to race issues in texts now vs. even 3-4 years ago (things that I know I'd have seen get an A for "at least they're trying for diversity!" back in my heavy Buffy days are more likely to get a wide case of "Oh, FACEPALM, what were you THINKING???"), and every single time I do, I know that it's fans like you who've been doing the work, and encouraging others to do the work, too, that are in large part to thank for it.

God knows, there's still a long, long way to go--as you say, there are no gold stars, and it's work that just keeps needing to be done, a lifetime of conditioning to be pushed against inch by painful inch--but seriously, thank you.

[oyceter]

Oh, oh, that is so good to hear. I mean, I think it feels very different on my flist this year when compared to last year, but I can't tell if it's spread any.

But thank you so much for commenting.