So pissed off.
Mon, May. 12th, 2003 05:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oyceterI'm so mad right now. First of all, I'm stupid. I just remembered today, before Dean's date, when everything is due, that I have not one paper due tomorrow, which I thought, but TWO. And the second one is seven pages long. It shouldn't seem long compared to the stupid thesis, but after the thesis, I just feel so burned out. I do not want to write anymore. Ever. Why does my university not understand this?
Secondly, I finally went in and talked the prof. who's giving me comps for Chinese lit. And I swear, none of my professors have any idea what's going on. This is the first year my department has decided to do real comps, as opposed to slipping a few questions in thesis defense, and no one seems to have any idea of how it's going to go. And this professor just kept getting everything wrong! I think he started assuming I didn't know anything about Chinese literature because I've only taken one course in it, as opposed to the *gasp* two I've taken in Chinese history, and started suggesting that we could concentrate on Japanese lit. Well, I don't know anything about modern Japanese literature, so I told him I'd very much prefer us sticking to the topic I picked in the first place. Then he asked me what Chinese history classes I've taken, and I told him I took one on the Qing dynasty and HIS 207 (East Asia up to the 1800s). And he said some random stuff about looking at Chinese history AFTER the Qing dynasty and comparing it to modern developments in Japanese history, completely ignoring or not knowing that HIS 207 is UP TO the 1800s, not after. I know nothing about modern Chinese history! Argh! And it just kept going like that... I'd say something and he'd completely misinterpret it. Finally, I think I got the point across that I can do lyric stuff in Chinese literature from the earliest forms up to the Song Dynasty. Which is a lot of stuff! It goes from 1000 BC to 1100 AD for heaven's sake!
So now, instead of feeling better about comps, I feel worse. I feel so screwed over by the department. All the professors I've taken classes from are not here right now -- they are on sabbatical or they have moved to another university entirely. So none of the professors giving me comps are ones I've taken classes under -- I don't know them, they don't know me, and I kind of think from the questions I've asked them, they think I'm totally stupid or something. I'd feel so much better if I were taking these with Profs. Howell and Kern, because I know them, they know me, I'd have a much better idea of what to expect, etc.
I must remember what S. said -- all that really matters right now is getting a grade high enough to graduate. This I can do. So: two crappy papers to write tonight, along with studying for pre-modern Japanese history (luckily, my strongest subject). Then tomorrow I'll check out the Chinese lit. anthology and reread poems from last year's Chinese lit. class. And watch Buffy of course. ARGH. I feel so stressed out. I hate this. I can't believe I was so stupid to actually completely forget about an entire paper!!
In other news, watched the Buffy wildfeed. Am completely confused and must watch again before even remotely beginning to clarify my thoughts. Will continue to use the fact about Angel's renewal to calm myself down and ignore the Spike-bashage making the rounds. Having faith in ME. Yes. Good job, me.
Secondly, I finally went in and talked the prof. who's giving me comps for Chinese lit. And I swear, none of my professors have any idea what's going on. This is the first year my department has decided to do real comps, as opposed to slipping a few questions in thesis defense, and no one seems to have any idea of how it's going to go. And this professor just kept getting everything wrong! I think he started assuming I didn't know anything about Chinese literature because I've only taken one course in it, as opposed to the *gasp* two I've taken in Chinese history, and started suggesting that we could concentrate on Japanese lit. Well, I don't know anything about modern Japanese literature, so I told him I'd very much prefer us sticking to the topic I picked in the first place. Then he asked me what Chinese history classes I've taken, and I told him I took one on the Qing dynasty and HIS 207 (East Asia up to the 1800s). And he said some random stuff about looking at Chinese history AFTER the Qing dynasty and comparing it to modern developments in Japanese history, completely ignoring or not knowing that HIS 207 is UP TO the 1800s, not after. I know nothing about modern Chinese history! Argh! And it just kept going like that... I'd say something and he'd completely misinterpret it. Finally, I think I got the point across that I can do lyric stuff in Chinese literature from the earliest forms up to the Song Dynasty. Which is a lot of stuff! It goes from 1000 BC to 1100 AD for heaven's sake!
So now, instead of feeling better about comps, I feel worse. I feel so screwed over by the department. All the professors I've taken classes from are not here right now -- they are on sabbatical or they have moved to another university entirely. So none of the professors giving me comps are ones I've taken classes under -- I don't know them, they don't know me, and I kind of think from the questions I've asked them, they think I'm totally stupid or something. I'd feel so much better if I were taking these with Profs. Howell and Kern, because I know them, they know me, I'd have a much better idea of what to expect, etc.
I must remember what S. said -- all that really matters right now is getting a grade high enough to graduate. This I can do. So: two crappy papers to write tonight, along with studying for pre-modern Japanese history (luckily, my strongest subject). Then tomorrow I'll check out the Chinese lit. anthology and reread poems from last year's Chinese lit. class. And watch Buffy of course. ARGH. I feel so stressed out. I hate this. I can't believe I was so stupid to actually completely forget about an entire paper!!
In other news, watched the Buffy wildfeed. Am completely confused and must watch again before even remotely beginning to clarify my thoughts. Will continue to use the fact about Angel's renewal to calm myself down and ignore the Spike-bashage making the rounds. Having faith in ME. Yes. Good job, me.
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(no subject)
Mon, May. 12th, 2003 02:54 pm (UTC)I feel the saaaame way about the wildfeed. What the fuck is going on? I'm trying to be comforted by the AtS casting spoilers, too, but I can't figure out how it's going to work -- or at least, work in a way that will make me happy. I'm slowly forming theories, but I don't want to let myself get too optimistic; I mean, if this were fic it'd be easily understable -- Buffy realizes she's SO over Angel and has to go chase down the hurt and betrayed Spike and tearfully declare her love, but somehow I doubt that's what's going to happen onscreen.
I don't even know how the fuck they're going to resolve all of this in one episode, but it is the finale and Joss is at the helm, so I guess anything is possible.
But I'm still in shock. What the fuck just happened? Guuuuh. Can we plan for the finale party to start with plenty of disscussion time before the episode? Because, huh?
(no subject)
Mon, May. 12th, 2003 05:35 pm (UTC)The wildfeed confuses me so much!! WTF is going on with the two vamps with souls? What's Buffy doing, telling Spike all that stuff and then going back to Angel? Why does everyone suddenly accept Buffy again and why is everything all happy happy?
Yeah, and what's up for the finale party? I have an inkling that the Tower Club thing isn't going to work out... any other places in mind? Lots of discussion is definitely needed (like, how to kill the First...)!
(no subject)
Mon, May. 12th, 2003 08:17 pm (UTC)*breathes*
Soooo.... about the party. I dunno. Who're we inviting? I can ask the madre whether we can have it here, she'll probably be fine with it. I guess it's time to start with the emails and the phone calls and planning, like, food and stuff. I'm so not a planner. But I really want to maximize my enjoyment of the finale... and have a support group for when it's all over. *sniffle*
(no subject)
Mon, May. 12th, 2003 08:25 pm (UTC)Hrm, I have a few people here I know who might go (and am dragging the boy in, just because). *wracks brain* I'm awful at planning. I suppose we can each have people bring their favorite snack food and just pass around, yeah? *sigh* Don't know very many die-hard Buffy fans here at all =(.
(no subject)
Mon, May. 12th, 2003 08:59 pm (UTC)But yeah, sure, everybody brings snacks, we should try to figure out who's bringing what and what else will be needed, fill in the gaps... and there's always alcohol in the house, if it looks too painful -- which it probably will.
I suppose I should talk to Mom before volunteering, but as long as there's not toooooo many people we should be okay. Guess that's an advantage to not having a ton of Buffy Buddies. But we can obsess together, it'll be all good.
(no subject)
Mon, May. 12th, 2003 09:16 pm (UTC)Yay Buffy Buddies!
(no subject)
Mon, May. 12th, 2003 09:29 pm (UTC)Yay Buffy party!
(no subject)
Mon, May. 12th, 2003 11:39 pm (UTC)