Brokeback Mountain

[oyceter]

Ok, I finally figured out why I found this movie so depressing, even more so than the sad and tragic love story warranted.

It's because everyone feels so penned in, so grey, so devoid of options. There is no joy in the movie, not even when Jack and Ennis get to be together. It actually reminds me a great deal of About Schmidt and depresses me in the same way.

Mostly, I was watching and being slowly horrified, thinking, "Wow, is life that bad? Is it that dull? Are all these day-to-day routine things that we do so awful?" as well as wondering if I would end up like Ennis or Schmidt in About Schmidt. I think that's my personal nightmare -- to wake up one day and think that my life is wasted and useless, that I've passed by opportunities for happiness, that I am somehow living a dishwater drab life. I got that sense from Ennis and from Schmidt... not so much from Jack, who at least fights and feels. But the sheer oppression of the movie... eep.

It wasn't even the political climate. It was everything. The small town, the claustrophobic dances, the sense that nothing was quite good enough. And I got stuck thinking that life in small towns may be like that (About Schmidt has a similar view of Midwestern small towns), but I don't think so. I mean, for me, I would feel caged, but that is because I like my life here. But I can see how the things like dances set to country music and herding sheep and running a tractor company could be fun. It's just that they aren't fun in the movie; they're stultifying. Ennis doesn't seem to find joy in anything, except the rare few times he's with Jack, and even then, the happiness is tinged with guilt.

I was wondering why the movie depressed me so much, because normally I can take tragic movies and the like without feeling totally hopeless. It's because it feels like a tragedy of moments, in which just being alive is drudgery.

And, well, that's what scares me most, because I don't want to look back and find only regret and closed doors, or to only go through the motions of living without actually feeling or enjoying any of it.

Comments

[livinglaurel.livejournal.com]

Wow, it sounds like this movie would depress me into the middle of next year (besides the whole Doomed Gay Love thing, which I find....annoying). Reading the story was bad enough.

[oyceter]

Oof, yeah. I'm still trying to shake off that claustrophobic feeling and reminding myself that my life is not like that, damnit! (or, eh, I hope not)

[livinglaurel.livejournal.com]

I grew up in rural NM, too, so I expect it might set off some flashbacks there...and feeling like I've wasted my life, or that it's been twisted and cramped into unusability, is one of my biggest fears, too, so No. Don't think I'll see that one.

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

I think...you're exactly right about what's so devastating about the movie. Or about one of the ways that the movie is devastating, anyway.

I think...there were a few--flashes of joy. Early on. On the mountain. Not the getting-together moments, but the--just playing around. Or just hanging out. A very few moments of just _being_ _okay._

I also think...there was one more at the very end. Ennis and his daughter. It was the first time the whole movie when he actually--moved. Did the thing that he wanted to do instead of what he thought that he should. That was one the thing that let me walk away from the theater feeling--exhausted, but not hopeless. It wasn't what I would have wanted for any of the characters, if I'd been able to go back and fix things for them, but--there's no going back. And it was--one little step towards taking where they were and saying, "It doesn't have to be this way. It can be better."

And I think...it's not that I think looking back at all those unopened doors is something that I want for anyone. But even so, even so, to finally be able to open that one door just a crack...that's something, anyway.

[oyceter]

Yeah, there were a few moments. Thank goodness for that!

[buffyannotater.livejournal.com]

Thanks...I almost let a friend convince me to see this last night, even though, still being torn up by my breakup, I didn't think I was ready for a tragic gay love story. While we ended up seeing an awful horror movie, Hostel instead, I'm glad we ended up seeing that instead of this. I don't know if I'll ever be ready to see this movie.

[oyceter]

Ooo yeah, you might want to skip this one then. It is painful! I mean, it is good, but wow, depressing.

[rushthatspeaks.livejournal.com]

That really is exactly how I used to feel in Ohio. All the damn time. I think that that sense is accurate, there are people who go through their lives this way-- and that's why I moved.

[oyceter]

Gaaaah. That would drive me crazy. I felt so oppressed and depressed and just... weighted after the movie.

[canandagirl.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the review. All I've heard about the movie was, "I've heard the movie is really good. I wanna go see it."

I heard that about "About Schmidt", and when I saw that on video, I found it horribly depressing, and I wasn't crazy about it. Personally, I don't think small towns have to feel caged in and depressing. A very good friend of mine lived in a really small town (she was an english teacher at the high school there). There was some definite good things about it and some bad things, but I think it's the same as living in a city. My personal preference is a small city. Los Angeles is just way too big for me.

[oyceter]

Yeah, that's the thing! I watch these movies and come away thinking small towns are stifling or something, but... it isn't necessarily. It's just sort of that POV.