I used my words!

[oyceter]

I have been plowing through Captain Awkward lately. For those of you who don't know (? I hadn't heard of it until now, but it seems like there are a lot of fannish commenters there?), Captain Awkward is an advice column that actually (*gasp*) gives good interpersonal advice. As in: "use your words because people are not telepathic" or "boundaries are good!" or "the only person you can change is yourself."

Plus, the main blogger has depression, and mental health questions feature relatively frequently, and the entire team seems to be feminist and generally anti-oppression. And, better yet, they try not to assume that people are heterosexual or monogamous or that families of origin are bestest (this was important for me).

Why did I not find this when I was looking for dating advice during my OKCupid stint?

Anyway, it cheered me up greatly during the parental visit, especially when my reinforcing boundaries didn't get the best feedback. And I am a bit smug and think CB and I are doing a lot of the good relationship things, like talking (!) and enjoying each other's company (!!) and working through issues (!!!).

So! Since this has made me happy, tell me how you have successfully used your words recently!

I told my dad I did not want to talk about exercise or weight or eating habits and held to it even when he called me oversensitive. And! It actually seemed to work this trip?! \o/

Comments

[laurashapiro]

This sounds like a real series of wins for you!

I am trying to Use My Words more when I need help -- asking for help instead of just assuming I won't get it. It's HARD. But necessary.

[oyceter]

I HATE asking for help. Urgh, especially at work!

[laurashapiro]

Me too, but mostly at home. Usually I just don't even think of asking; I assume I can do everything myself, and then I get resentful when I wind up doing everything myself. Oh, brain. How does that even make sense?