Tan, Amy - The Opposite of Fate
Mon, May. 10th, 2004 11:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oyceterIt's strange, but I feel as though I can like Amy Tan's books more now that I've read her essays. One of my mains problems with her books are just the "Asian-American literature" part of them, so it's rather nice to know that Tan finds it rather strange to be stuck in the ethnic writers' ghetto and to be evaluated on how accurately she portrays an ethnic group, or improves race relations, etc. And I feel bad, because I generally do criticize her books on that level -- it's sometimes hard not to when there are so many similarities and differences between her experiences and her characters and my own.
I've read some of the essays before, most notably the one on language. The thing that struck me most was just how eventful her life has been and how painful it must have been -- she lost her father and brother in about a year, then her mother had them all move to Switzerland. Plus, of course, the depression her mother had and how that affected their relationship. I think she sounds like a person who would be interesting to talk to, but that I might not necessarily want to know.
Many of the essays are on her mother and her maternal grandmother, on her relationship with them, and through them, with China and Chinese culture. Other subjects include crazed squirrels (my personal favorite), being a rock star, going to Hollywood, etc.
I also went to a dinner with my dad's old college friends about two nights ago, so it was interesting having the book and that dinner in my head. I sat with the ahyis (aunties) instead of with the kids, so I got to listen to them talk instead of watch a loud action movie. I used to be really bored when my mom talked with her friends, but now I think it's really interesting. It's interesting listening to them gossip and talk about things that I would probably get mad at if they came right from my mom.
Anyhow, strangely, they were all quite impressed with what a nice girl I was (haha) and this one ahyi was saying strange things like, look how she was raised right! So polite! Ahhh, really an Oriental girl (well, dong-fang, "eastwards"). Interesting because they had been talking about the difference between raising kids on the east coast of the US and the west coast. Haha, plus, I just look polite in strange company. I don't remember most of it, but the people who had lived in Cali for a while lamented that their kids grew up too concerned with appearances (I think referring to the whole Asian-American subculture and all that stereotypical stuff about designer labels and cars and whatnot). The people who had mostly lived on the east coast lamented not having their kids grow up around other Asians, so that the kids didn't know what to say to the adults (I'm supposed to call anyone my parents' age ahyi ("auntie") or shushu ("uncle").. I never know what to call my American friends' parents).
Lots of interesting stuff. And one of the moms was regretting things about how her son was twenty or so and confused about his identity. She said something about him asking her why didn't she ever tell him anything? And she said, would he have listened to me anyway? And it's not just the generational gap -- it's the language gap. Amy Tan had that essay on language and her mother, how she used to think her mother was stupid because her English was bad. I think (or would like to) that I am different in that regard. Being in Taiwan where everyone spoke Chinese around me except for the people in my school was very different than being raised here. There, I was the one who sounded stupid when I opened my mouth to people I didn't know. I was the one with the language handicap. My mom, on the other hand, was loud and chatty and gossipy to her heart's content.
That's why it's always strange when I show her around Princeton, or when we vacation in California (to a lesser extent). I hear her talking to my friends' parents or to my friends, and it doesn't sound like my mom at all. She's suddenly kind of awkward in the situation, and I always want to pull people aside and tell them that she doesn't really sound like that. In CA it's much less so because we usually hang around my mom's friends and eat Chinese anyway.
I don't know how much Asian-American kids are confused about their identities (obviously I would not trust my mom to give an accurate psychological description of me, although she's generally pretty good). And I don't know how much they know Chinese, although in general it seems that they do grow up English-speaking. But it was really interesting actually looking at the way I was raised and seeing how different it was because my parents made the decision to move back. It's also always kind of funny because the people here always assume I don't understand Chinese so they try to speak to me in English. And generally, I am much more comfortable if they are speaking Chinese to me, even if I speak English back. They also were pretty surprised that I thought of Taiwan as home, I think.
It was also funny listening to them talk about their kids' decisions and the like, and one mom said something about how she used to worry so much about her daughter, but really, when it came down to it, her daughter had her head screwed on right and she didn't have to worry anyhow. I hope my mom says stuff like that about me, although I am not too sure...
Anyhow, it was a nice dinner (Chinese food! Oh joy!) and it was great fun listening to the ahyis talk (and the uncles joined in later). The only problem was it made me more homesick =(.
I've read some of the essays before, most notably the one on language. The thing that struck me most was just how eventful her life has been and how painful it must have been -- she lost her father and brother in about a year, then her mother had them all move to Switzerland. Plus, of course, the depression her mother had and how that affected their relationship. I think she sounds like a person who would be interesting to talk to, but that I might not necessarily want to know.
Many of the essays are on her mother and her maternal grandmother, on her relationship with them, and through them, with China and Chinese culture. Other subjects include crazed squirrels (my personal favorite), being a rock star, going to Hollywood, etc.
I also went to a dinner with my dad's old college friends about two nights ago, so it was interesting having the book and that dinner in my head. I sat with the ahyis (aunties) instead of with the kids, so I got to listen to them talk instead of watch a loud action movie. I used to be really bored when my mom talked with her friends, but now I think it's really interesting. It's interesting listening to them gossip and talk about things that I would probably get mad at if they came right from my mom.
Anyhow, strangely, they were all quite impressed with what a nice girl I was (haha) and this one ahyi was saying strange things like, look how she was raised right! So polite! Ahhh, really an Oriental girl (well, dong-fang, "eastwards"). Interesting because they had been talking about the difference between raising kids on the east coast of the US and the west coast. Haha, plus, I just look polite in strange company. I don't remember most of it, but the people who had lived in Cali for a while lamented that their kids grew up too concerned with appearances (I think referring to the whole Asian-American subculture and all that stereotypical stuff about designer labels and cars and whatnot). The people who had mostly lived on the east coast lamented not having their kids grow up around other Asians, so that the kids didn't know what to say to the adults (I'm supposed to call anyone my parents' age ahyi ("auntie") or shushu ("uncle").. I never know what to call my American friends' parents).
Lots of interesting stuff. And one of the moms was regretting things about how her son was twenty or so and confused about his identity. She said something about him asking her why didn't she ever tell him anything? And she said, would he have listened to me anyway? And it's not just the generational gap -- it's the language gap. Amy Tan had that essay on language and her mother, how she used to think her mother was stupid because her English was bad. I think (or would like to) that I am different in that regard. Being in Taiwan where everyone spoke Chinese around me except for the people in my school was very different than being raised here. There, I was the one who sounded stupid when I opened my mouth to people I didn't know. I was the one with the language handicap. My mom, on the other hand, was loud and chatty and gossipy to her heart's content.
That's why it's always strange when I show her around Princeton, or when we vacation in California (to a lesser extent). I hear her talking to my friends' parents or to my friends, and it doesn't sound like my mom at all. She's suddenly kind of awkward in the situation, and I always want to pull people aside and tell them that she doesn't really sound like that. In CA it's much less so because we usually hang around my mom's friends and eat Chinese anyway.
I don't know how much Asian-American kids are confused about their identities (obviously I would not trust my mom to give an accurate psychological description of me, although she's generally pretty good). And I don't know how much they know Chinese, although in general it seems that they do grow up English-speaking. But it was really interesting actually looking at the way I was raised and seeing how different it was because my parents made the decision to move back. It's also always kind of funny because the people here always assume I don't understand Chinese so they try to speak to me in English. And generally, I am much more comfortable if they are speaking Chinese to me, even if I speak English back. They also were pretty surprised that I thought of Taiwan as home, I think.
It was also funny listening to them talk about their kids' decisions and the like, and one mom said something about how she used to worry so much about her daughter, but really, when it came down to it, her daughter had her head screwed on right and she didn't have to worry anyhow. I hope my mom says stuff like that about me, although I am not too sure...
Anyhow, it was a nice dinner (Chinese food! Oh joy!) and it was great fun listening to the ahyis talk (and the uncles joined in later). The only problem was it made me more homesick =(.
(no subject)
Wed, May. 12th, 2004 12:48 am (UTC)The scary thing is that alot the depressing, over-the-top-sounding stuff is from her life, or her mom's or her grandma's.