The Da Vinci Code (2006 movie)

[oyceter]

I went to see The Da Vinci Code with my parents on the weekend, despite loathing the book. Well, honestly, I don't loathe it the way I've loathed other books; I just think that the author is lazy and that the prose is horrific. I wouldn't be so irked about the whole Grail conspiracy theory had Dan Brown not included a disclaimer in the front saying that things were indeed truthful and had his theory of the sacred feminine not been so rage-inducing.

That said, I was actually rather entertained by the movie, largely because Ron Howard is a much better movie-maker than Dan Brown is a writer. It's too bad the movie sticks so closely to the book (and yes, this may be the first and last time you will ever hear me say this), because the visuals of the movie are lovely. There's the opening sequence in which a man is being pursued through the Louvre, and the camera lingers on all the famous paintings for just a little.

There are the flashbacks to the Crusades and assorted other things in a muted sepia, knights in armor, cathedrals, marble effigies and etc.

Audrey Tautou is beautiful, despite having nothing to do.

So... yes, I like it as a movie in that it is beautiful to look at and a solid piece of filmmaking, with a wonderfully fun performance by Ian McKlellan.

Sadly, said solid piece of filmmaking is saddled with the book, which is, frankly, ridiculous. First, I nearly snickered through the entire opening, because the thought of a man shot through the gut having enough time to plant clues throughout the museum as he was bleeding his life out was ludicrous. The director tries to make things work, but honestly, there's only so much you can do when the villain of the piece is a fanatic, masochistic albino dressed in monk's robes who routinely flagellates himself while muttering in Latin.

Albino.

Yeah.

Just typing that makes me snicker. Also, I somehow doubt that Dan Brown realized how ludicrous said fanatic, masochistic albino in medieval monk's robes looks talking on a cell phone, even if the conversation is in Latin (or Italian? I can't tell).

And the entire explanation of the conspiracy still makes me want to laugh because it's so nonsensical. Thankfully, the script cuts a lot of the blathering that goes on in the book about the sacred feminine and blah blah blah, and there's less taking the conspiracy at face value.

So... pretty movie with much talent involved, and despite the many attempts to circumvent the awful, awful prose of the book (I mean... Mary Sue awful), still gets bogged down by the plot.

Comments

[rheanna27.livejournal.com]

I just think that the author is lazy and that the prose is horrific...

YES! Yes, yes, thank you, yes!

[oyceter]

Gah, yes. I mean, even if I had absolutely no idea about the early history of Christianity, the way it's portrayed in the book strikes me as being extremely lazy, with very, very lax research.

[tonapah.livejournal.com]

I had no idea that monk was supposed to be an albino. Huh. I thought he was just really blond. But yeah, him talking on the cell phone was hilarious. I also liked how they used him to startle the audience a few times. You're watching a scene and then BAM! up pops a lethal monk.

It was a really pretty movie. Too bad Dan Brown apparently never heard of the two words "character" and "development." I should know more about the main character than that he fell down a well once. :-p

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

I somehow doubt that Dan Brown realized how ludicrous said fanatic, masochistic albino in medieval monk's robes looks talking on a cell phone

I'm not watching the movie - or reading the book, Foucault's Pendulum said all that will ever need saying in that genre IMO - but I have had to sit through the trailer a number of times, and "but why has the rum gone Paul Bettany joined Rammstein ?" was a strong reaction there.

[oracne.livejournal.com]

Audrey Tautou is beautiful, despite having nothing to do.

Hee!!! This is my favorite sentence. I haven't read the book, but might see the movie because a friend wants to, and as she pointed out, "it has to be better than the book."

See you soon! I keep saying that in LJ today and it's very exciting!

[graygirl.livejournal.com]

Hee! I found the movie utterly predictible (I didn't read the novel). I think the jackass behind me had never seen a movie in his life--or read a book--because everything was new and shiny to him. I was cheering for the albino to win. ;)

[oyceter]

*snork*

I had a really hard time keeping a straight face every time the poor guy was on the screen, despite his best efforts.

[oyceter]

Yay!!! I am so excited!

I'd actually suffer through the book first (though gah, the prose), but that's just because I feel bad for the movie being bashed for things that it took straight out of the book. It really did do a very good job, considering the rough material.

[oyceter]

Yeah... I feel very bad for the director and the screenplay writer because really, they improved on the book so much! I think a lot of the problems people have with the movie are things that are inherent in the book, but the book is just so full of... uh... weird and crazy plot and conspiracies that it's hard...

[sophia-helix.livejournal.com]

I hated that movie so much I can't even find the words to talk about it. I hear that if you've read the book, you can at least fill in the blanks -- I was reduced to just barely trying to stay awake through the most boring "action" movie I have even seen.

So. Painful.

[oyceter]

And the horribly sad thing is, it's a hundred times better than the book!

The book seriously has a writer interviewing the main character and writing something like, "Looking like a young Harrison Ford, blah blah blah" And a scene in which the main character looks at himself in the mirror and carefully contemplates his eye color and his hair and etc.

[livinglaurel.livejournal.com]

there's only so much you can do when the villain of the piece is a fanatic, masochistic albino dressed in monk's robes who routinely flagellates himself while muttering in Latin

SNERK

I somehow doubt that Dan Brown realized how ludicrous said fanatic, masochistic albino in medieval monk's robes looks talking on a cell phone, even if the conversation is in Latin

((dies)) REALLY? Man, now I need an icon of that.

[livinglaurel.livejournal.com]

Wow, nice Fitzgeralds icon.

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

He has an awful lot of credit from me for Master and Commander, [ if you're going to play a Trinity College Dublin medical graduate, getting the accent that right and not generic-Irish when you're actually Australian is really rather amazing, speaks a Trinity College Dublin science graduate ], but... seeing him in this would just be embarrassing.

[tonapah.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :)

[oyceter]

*snork* Yeah, the albino bit was just hilarious. Sadly, it was unintentionally so. And I was amused by them trying to give the albino a sad past because... dude, you're using an evil albino! It just doesn't work like that! Have they never seen Princess Bride?

[oyceter]

I really need to watch M&C some day!

[telophase.livejournal.com]

My mother read a review of the movie the other day and promptly phone dme up, saying words to the effect of: "How come you never told me The Da Vinci Code starred a fanatic, masochistic albino in medieval monk's robes? I might have bothered to read it if you'd told me that!" Alas, I had to inform her, alas I'd never read the book - all desire to do so having drained out of me after I found out that it was based on the old Holy Blood Holy Grail canard. (Yes, books, movies, whatever can be spoiled for me if they're based on a popular theory - I was unable to appreciate From Hell because of that.)

[vonnie-k.livejournal.com]

Heh. I had a similar reaction to yours, a liberal amount of "WTF?" and helpless laughter interspersed with some genuine enjoyment, mostly provided by Ian McKellen. Poor Paul Bettany. The indignity! It did tickle me a bit as a travelogue, what with all the pretty churches and buildings. I really wanted to visit the Templar chapel at Rosslyn (the one with ALL THE ANSWERS OMG) that got featured at the end.

I haven't read the book, but the excerpted paragraph in the NYT review of the book was plenty enough to give me the flavour of the atrocious prose style. Oy.

[oyceter]

Hee! I like your mom already.

I rolled my eyes through a lot of the book because I was taking a class on the early history of Christianity at the time, and the professors did talk about Mary Magdalene and the gospels the book uses, except they actually, y'know, put it in historical context and look up what things meant instead of just jumping to conclusions.

[oyceter]

Hee, yes! I started giggling at the very opening when trying to imagine guy-with-gut-wound crawling around and writing in invisible blood or something and then drawing a pentacle on himself. I mean... who remembers the Fibonacci sequence at a time like that?

It's very pretty though....

Gah, avoid the book. Atrocious, atrocious prose style. Atrocious.

Atrocious.

Cannot say it enough.

[rue10.livejournal.com]

I recommend The Da Vinci Mole (http://smartpopbooks.com/allbooks/index.html#DaVinciMole). Because at times like these, parody is healing.

[oyceter]

Hee! Thanks.

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

The masochistic albino talking on a cell phone in Latin kind of makes me want to see the movie.

[oyceter]

It'll be much more entertaining if you're there with some sort of drinking game in place:

Albino monk punishes himself - drink!
Albino monk scares someone - drink!
etc.

[canandagirl.livejournal.com]

I think I'm the only one who hasn't read Brown's book yet. I find it odd that such a badly written book (you're not the first person I've heard who's said it was badly written), has made bzillions of dollars. I'm thinking I'll go see the movie though.

Thanks for the update

[canandagirl.livejournal.com]

I dunno, I almost fell asleep during Electra. I was stunned how Hollywood could take such an exciting comic book character and make her...dull.

[oyceter]

It is an awfully written book... but then, so are a lot of bestsellers, particularly the ones sold at the supermarket and etc. Ah well...