LJ awkwardness

[oyceter]

Siiiigh. I keep doing this, but I think I need to trim my friends list again. No, not trim. Halve =(. I've just been feeling incredibly overwhelmed by things, and then I feel guilty when people post good discussions on LJ and I'm not able to follow them because I'm too tired. I've been really skimming over everything for the past few months now; I don't comment much anymore just because I haven't been paying enough attention to really say anything. Also, just the act of skimming makes me feel even more hurried and pressured, and then I feel like I have even less energy and less time to actually think about things. And I don't particularly like interacting that way.

And before people mention the filter thing -- I tried doing filters, and I just don't like them. They don't really work for me, because I personally know that there are more posts to read, and that makes me feel worse that I'm skipping them.

This is, of course, my desperate and rather selfish attempt to avert drama, because some people will inevitably be hurt in the process, despite nearly everyone on LJ's attempts to separate friendship from the friends list. It's hard to, and I apologize in advance, because even having someone say that they still like you as they decide not to read your posts on a daily basis (or... every other day, if you're me) isn't easy at all. But yes, if you are on my reading list, now or in the past, it is because I enjoyed reading you and knowing you and that being taken off doesn't mean that I have suddenly stopped liking you.

Comments

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I did this just this week -- trimming, not halving -- and got an angry and offended e-mail from someone who claimed that no one ever posted about defriending and that I clearly did not want to interact with him because his life was not perfect.

Riiiiight.

I wish you better luck with your defriended, even if it's me.

[oyceter]

Thank you!

Thankfully, I haven't gotten offended emails yet, although there definitely have been some confused people.

[minnow1212.livejournal.com]

:hugs: Take care of you.

[oyceter]

*hugs back* Thanks.

[riemannia.livejournal.com]

I know exactly what you are talking about. So, no worries here.

[oyceter]

Urgh, yeah. I think I commented more yesterday after trimming the list than I have in months!

[cofax7]

There, there. ::hair pats::

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

I am amazed that I have never gotten a hostile letter about defriending. However, I did yesterday get a hostile response to my OK Cupid personal ad. (I am guessing that he, like the other hostile people, was angry that I said that due to it being too big of a clash of values, I would not date any Republicans or libertarians.)

[oyceter]

Hee! I haven't actually gotten hostile letters either, but I have gotten some confused people, and I feel bad.

[aitchellsee.livejournal.com]

Oooh! the filter thing! How do you DO the filter thing? I've looked in te LJ FAQ and such and can't find my way to the directions no how no way :-(

My own FL is kinda overwhelmed by all the BPAL/Alchemylab entries, and I'd been thinking I'd like to, well, filter them out so I could read them easily when I want to but not miss actual entries about real IDEAS and BOOKS and stuff from the folks I friended because I enjoy their writing so much, and lately I notice I've scrolled past several while trying to skip over the BPAL stuff...

Any pointers or guidance would be muchly appreciated!!

[kate_nepveu]

The FAQs don't call it "filters" but "custom friends groups," which may be why you couldn't find it:

http://www.livejournal.com/support/faqbrowse.bml?faqid=102

I use this to divide my f-list into four groups (which I then hard-code links for into my f-list page), so that I can keep track of new comments better on individual's posts and not have them scroll past too fast when baaaaabyanimals has a flurry of posts.

[aitchellsee.livejournal.com]

Aaauuuuughhhh! baaaaabyanimals! PUPPYTOES! PUPPYTONGUES! Aaaauuuugggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Erm. Hm. Sorry, I got carried away for a moment, following a brief visit to baaaaabyanimals where I spotted the current, erm, icons, on the top row there. PUPPYTOES!

I'm meeellllllttttttiiiinnnnnnngggggggggg.....

(dissolves into a pool of goo. Kittytummies or possibly even rattienoses --remembering where we are(grin)-- would have had a similar effect, I'm sure)

I mean: Thanks!

(from the greyhaired chubbychick who started
babbling about how you and Yoon were among her
favorite LJers up at Boskone the other day)

[kate_nepveu]

Hey, glad to be of help, and good to put an LJ name to the face.

[hermionesviolin.livejournal.com]

You can filter by user but not by content.

(To create filters, go here (http://www.livejournal.com/friends/editgroups.bml).)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_swallow/]

No problem! I'll keep reading you, because I like following your life.

[oyceter]

Oh thank you! And *hugs*

[oracne.livejournal.com]

It's okay! We've all had to do this at some time or another.

[oyceter]

Heh, yeah... it seems to be coming up more and more for me.

[rysmiel.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm not upset; I'll still be here and reading while time permits. And I appreciate a thoughtful post about why you're doing such a thing, it's much more civilised than a defriending without context.

[oyceter]

Thank you, and I'm glad the post helped somewhat.

[yhlee.livejournal.com]

*hugs* All understandable! *hugs*