The List of Duh

[oyceter]

Not things that are duh as in stupid, but things that are duh in that they seem so obvious, but they're so hard to actually get. I figure I'd write this up since fannishly and I keep having them, and because these are the things that I forget the fastest when I'm depressed or grey.

Also, I like numbered lists.

1. Being happy feels really, really good. This is the most duh thing on the list, because, well. Duh. I can't believe how hard it is to remember this though!


2. As a corollary to that, being at baseline feels really, really good. And it feels normal. I am continually amazed by how good and how normal baseline feels and how I could tell that it was baseline.


3. Depression sucks. *kicks depression* And while I am still learning lots of good things because of it (or rather, because I want to stave it off), like reaching out to people and the like, I feel like those are side benefits that would be more easily gained were I mentally healthy for the past two years. To steal Peter Kramer's line from Against Depression, I don't think anything would be lost if it were eradicated.


4. Life is incredibly strange and funny and absurd and odd and beautiful and good and full, and I love it.


5. It's easier to be around people (and to be nice to people) when I am happy. I know, what an amazing concept!


6. Being happy isn't easy! Not that it is hard work, per se, but I think it's almost a skill or something that does have to be worked on. As in, it's not some magically appearing thing from the sky (alas), and that I can actually sort of learn it.


7. The world will not fall apart if I fail sometimes. In fact, my life won't even fall apart if I fail sometimes, or even a whole lot, or even all the time for years. Eh, yes, sometimes I am still very stunned by this fact, that things overall will still Be OK.


8. Strangely enough, blame also doesn't help things. Ergo, the point is to not bash myself over things that have gone wrong, but to just figure out how they went wrong and what I can do about it from now on. Ergo ergo, it's ok if I ate too much/weighed myself/spent too much money/was lazy/overslept/wasted time online/was mean. Or, maybe it really isn't ok, but I can't time travel to make it not-so, so really, might as well not do the whole might-have-been thing and just focus on what I can do now.


9. People make mistakes. This means me. This is also ok! See above for what happens when mistakes are made.


10. On the other hand, if I totally fall apart and forget about all this and start blaming myself, that is also ok. Well, it's not in that I feel lousy, but it's ok in that people will not immediately hate me and abandon me and yell at me.


11. I get to use my LJ for throwing tantrums and being immature and sulking and complaining, especially if I feel like I need it.


12. I can do things like ask friends for comfort. Wow! People are there! It really is amazing! (and I really mean that and am not being sarcastic! It's just... whenever I least expect it and sometimes when I most need it, help will show up, there will be an outstretched hand or a kind word, and it really is quite amazing!)


13. Sleep is good. Showers are good. Sleep and a hot shower usually help.


14. Remembering to feed the stomach is good too!


15. Really basic things in life, like eating well and sleeping regularly and having a balanced lifestyle, are actually really, really hard! There is no "just" about them!


16. Sometimes I am just amazed that there is so much to be happy about!

So. Do you guys have these epiphanies of duh? What are they?

Comments

[yhlee.livejournal.com]

Eating is good.
Sleep is good.
If you screw up once, the world will not hate you. In fact, most of the world hasn't noticed you, and that's all right, too.
Anything you accomplish beyond raising a lizard-toddler is a bonus. Writing 200 words a day, or equivalent in revisions or copyediting, or whatever, is actually kind of a bonus.
Sunshine helps. Daily tennis (or whatever activity) TOTALLY helps. *misses the daily tennis*

Then there are the cynical epiphanies, as per Shawshank Redemption and "Reprise." I will spare you.

[oyceter]

Heh, are the ones re: "Reprise" something like "Do not sleep with ex-lover the trashy blonde and attempt to lose your soul"?

[deadsoul820.livejournal.com]

Great list!

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Drinking water regularly is also good.

[oyceter]

Indeed it is.

I forget this one all too often...

[ann1962]

{{HUGS}}

I have a couple sections in my memories where I put posts that do what this list does. And then when I need to, sometimes have to, I go and read those entries. It helps. This is a glorious list. Thank you for the reminders.

[oyceter]

Awwww, thank you. I'm glad it helps other people.

[mamculuna.livejournal.com]

When it all seems to be not working, try rebooting first, not last! That seems to be the gist of several of your comments about life, as well as about computers. And it's really true. Sleep, eat, shower, do something fun--and then look at your problems again. Sometimes it's better in the morning, really.

And when I wake up at 3:30 AM, do not lie there and obsess on all my problems--turn on the light and read. 3:30 AM thoughts are not valid thoughts.

[oyceter]

I always seem to forget to reboot! Aka, need to remind self that sleep deprivation is not of the good.

[(Anonymous)]

Sleep if you can! if not, don't pay attention to what you think when you haven't slept. I find that knowing that my brain is adversely affected by illness, hunger, lack of sleep, hormones, etc. helps me ignore the distorted messages.

[mamculuna.livejournal.com]

From me--sorry, I didn't log in when I switched computers.

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

1. Just because you don't have the relationship you'd ideally want to have with someone doesn't mean that the relationship you do have isn't a perfectly good relationship. (ie, "just friends" is good too.)

2. You have to write a first draft before you can rewrite it.

3. Not everything in the world is about me.

4. Cleaning for ten minutes at a time is a pretty good way to keep your house clean.

5. Better late than never.

[oyceter]

LOL to #3! I must post that one somewhere and keep reading it.

[hermionesviolin.livejournal.com]

2. You have to write a first draft before you can rewrite it.

So true. This is something I know intellectually and have been trying to force myself to actually enact for years. (I graduated from college last spring.)