Knapp, Caroline - Appetites: Why Women Want

[oyceter]

Knapp was anorexic for a good chunk of her life, and she uses that experience as a leaping off point into the more theoretical frame. I was very sad to learn that she died of lung cancer in 2002; I liked this memoir very much.

I had less qualms with this book than I did with Kim Chernin's The Obsession. I'm not exactly sure why; it may be that going from a memoir to more feminist theory and theory about body image is more satisfying to me than a book that jumps straight into the theoretical. Either that, or I'm growing more interested in the theoretical aspect of anorexia and bulimia and other body image problems for purely personal reasons.

I tend to have more qualms about this type of theory claiming that anorexics or bulimics as a group do such-and-such because of one overriding factor. But I felt that while Knapp did somewhat get into the theory behind it, she always tried to ground it in her own experience and the experiences of others she talked to. In the end, Appetites remains a deeply personal book, which is why, strangely, it feels more universal to me.

Sometimes I have doubts as to the cultural standards of beauty influencing eating disorders, but Knapp confirms this better for me. Either that, or thinking about it much more from my end has changed my mind. I do think that the fact that anorexia seems to be a largely upper middle class and white female disease does say something. I wish there were a more comprehensive study of eating disorders in other cultures and nations as well, because I would personally be very interested in seeing something like this set in Asia.

Anyhow, I digress. I liked how Knapp connected the desire to eat with other appetites, with the desire for love or warmth. I personally connect the desire to eat with the same fuzzy feelings, as well as assorted cultural issues, so I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. That is, until people try to deny themselves said fuzzy feelings by denying themselves basic sustenance. I wonder how much of anorexia is actually a mental disorder, as opposed to an eating disorder, how much of it is rooted in self-hatred and impossible standards.

Also, even though I'm talking about many larger issues here, the thing that struck me most about this book was the neediness Knapp was feeling, the utter control she had to express over her body. Just reading about what she was doing to herself was so incredibly painful on a very visceral level. She writes that a common perception is that anorexics suppress their hunger, but in her reality, hunger consumed her. She lived and breathed food; her entire life was about controlling what she ate and how she ate it. No brain space left for the bigger, more frightening things in life that she maybe couldn't control -- she was so strictly controlling her reality via food that that was how she avoided thinking about a life path, about relationship problems or personal issues.

It just struck me so hard how she was using food and her control over food and over her body as a way out, almost. For some reason, it reminds me a bit of self-injury as a coping mechanism. Both are ways of dealing with things, externalizing pain or control, writing them on the body, making them physical and visible. They both seem to be a sort of last-ditch coping mechanism, and a malfunctioning one at that. I am not sure at all how accurate this is, given that I've had not that much experience with either. But it does seem like they could possibly get in the way of actually dealing with the underlying issue because of how they externalize the issue. Now I'm really just rambling.

I hesitate to make (even more) generalizations about eating disorders and mental illnesses, but the book is a very worthwhile and rather wrenching read.

Comments

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

Another LJ I read claims that anorexia is extremely prevalent in Japan, but I'm not sure if that's based on statistics or on personal perception.

Thanks for the review. This sounds like something I'd like to read. Have you read Marya Hornbacher's anorexia/bulimia memoir Wasted? It doesn't go that much into the theoretical issues, but is extremely well-written.

[oyceter]

I haven't read Wasted yet, but it sounds like something I'd want to check out, thanks.

Heh, I always wonder if it's higher in Asia. I mean, at least here there is that sort of movement toward healthy body images in ads and the media and the like.

[wisewoman.livejournal.com]

I always considered that anorexia/bulimia was self-injury.

[oyceter]

Yeah, I guess I'm using self-injury in the more "cutting yourself" sense, although of course both actions are injuring the self.

[livinglaurel.livejournal.com]

I read the book and liked it too, after reading her earlier works -- it was a bit disappointing because she'd gone over some of the issues before and I was hoping for something a bit more theoretical, but I thought it was v good. I had one quibble with the cover -- it showed a naked sort of cowering v thin woman, in this little huddled ball, and I thought it would've been really gutsy for the publisher to put the painting Knapp talks about at the very beginning, IIRC, on the cover -- a beautiful fleshy woman. Ah well.

For some reason, it reminds me a bit of self-injury as a coping mechanism. Both are ways of dealing with things, externalizing pain or control, writing them on the body, making them physical and visible. They both seem to be a sort of last-ditch coping mechanism, and a malfunctioning one at that. I am not sure at all how accurate this is, given that I've had not that much experience with either. But it does seem like they could possibly get in the way of actually dealing with the underlying issue because of how they externalize the issue.

I think that's v accurate -- I do think anorexia and bulimia are closely related to SI as coping mechanisms that get out of hand and then have to be treated as problems themselves -- which also happens with substance abusers, the difference of course being you can put down the razor or cigarette or pill or whatever at any time and never pick it back up again, but you just can't do that with food. Often people (here I go being the AA chick again) who quit, say, drinking are v upset that their lives aren't perfect afterwards -- that they're often still stuck with the same problems they had when they started drinking to deal with those problems in the v first place.

Knapp also wrote a great memoir, Drinking: A Love Story, which goes into detail abt her own battle with alcohol. I highly recommend it.

I second rachelmanija's recommendation of Wasted -- it's v melodramatic in parts, but it's probably one of the best inner representations of what it feels like to have an eating disorder that I've ever seen. Hornbacher isn't terribly clear on exactly why she started or how she managed to stop (with multiple relapses, up to the present day AFAIK) but she portrays the journey down v well. It has some similarities to Prozac Nation, altho she has much more of a sense of humor about herself.

[oyceter]

Yeah, I think the thing about anorexia and bulimia isn't getting the person to eat again (although that is good!), it's to get to the mindset that causes the person to stop eating inthe first place.

I must add Wasted to the to be read list! Thanks ^_^.