IBARW: Random nidgy things that I've noticed in the past two weeks

Someone on ap_racism commented to the effect: once you start noticing racism, it feels like it's everywhere, which may be why it seems like talking about racism causes racism.

So. Things that I've noticed or thought about in the past two weeks in real life:

( Things that make me conscious of being Asian )

And now...

Please note, I am not noting my own racist responses so that people can reassure me. I'm doing it to be honest and to show that even though I can blog about racism here, it's very, very difficult for me to change my own mindset and reactions. I am not the poster child for anti-racism; I live and breathe the same racial smog that we all do. My id is angry at Asians who look bad or who assume I'm like them; at blacks and Latinos, who make me feel awkward and guilty;* at white people who make me feel out of place or make me feel even more Asian. My ego and superego realize that this is a reaction that really doesn't help anything.

* Also, I am rereading this after I type it, and I would like to note the language that I used. Of course, it's the Asians who look bad. Of course, the blacks and the Latinos are somehow making me feel guilty. *headdesk* Please witness, aversive racism at work!

And just seeing how I so easily slip back into blaming other people of color, how can I honestly blog against racism if I don't talk about my own?

( Things that make me realize how easy it is to be racist )

And because I know how frustrating it is to have a giant list of "Do not do this!" and how it leads to flailing and not knowing what to do, another list! Added caveat being, this is my own, personal list, and as such, it probably leaves off a number of things, because (as demonstrated above), I have giant, giant blind spots when it comes to race.

( Things I try to do to not be racist )

Do you have lists? What are they?

ETA: corrected typos