The List of Duh

Not things that are duh as in stupid, but things that are duh in that they seem so obvious, but they're so hard to actually get. I figure I'd write this up since fannishly and I keep having them, and because these are the things that I forget the fastest when I'm depressed or grey.

Also, I like numbered lists.

1. Being happy feels really, really good. This is the most duh thing on the list, because, well. Duh. I can't believe how hard it is to remember this though!


2. As a corollary to that, being at baseline feels really, really good. And it feels normal. I am continually amazed by how good and how normal baseline feels and how I could tell that it was baseline.


3. Depression sucks. *kicks depression* And while I am still learning lots of good things because of it (or rather, because I want to stave it off), like reaching out to people and the like, I feel like those are side benefits that would be more easily gained were I mentally healthy for the past two years. To steal Peter Kramer's line from Against Depression, I don't think anything would be lost if it were eradicated.


4. Life is incredibly strange and funny and absurd and odd and beautiful and good and full, and I love it.


5. It's easier to be around people (and to be nice to people) when I am happy. I know, what an amazing concept!


6. Being happy isn't easy! Not that it is hard work, per se, but I think it's almost a skill or something that does have to be worked on. As in, it's not some magically appearing thing from the sky (alas), and that I can actually sort of learn it.


7. The world will not fall apart if I fail sometimes. In fact, my life won't even fall apart if I fail sometimes, or even a whole lot, or even all the time for years. Eh, yes, sometimes I am still very stunned by this fact, that things overall will still Be OK.


8. Strangely enough, blame also doesn't help things. Ergo, the point is to not bash myself over things that have gone wrong, but to just figure out how they went wrong and what I can do about it from now on. Ergo ergo, it's ok if I ate too much/weighed myself/spent too much money/was lazy/overslept/wasted time online/was mean. Or, maybe it really isn't ok, but I can't time travel to make it not-so, so really, might as well not do the whole might-have-been thing and just focus on what I can do now.


9. People make mistakes. This means me. This is also ok! See above for what happens when mistakes are made.


10. On the other hand, if I totally fall apart and forget about all this and start blaming myself, that is also ok. Well, it's not in that I feel lousy, but it's ok in that people will not immediately hate me and abandon me and yell at me.


11. I get to use my LJ for throwing tantrums and being immature and sulking and complaining, especially if I feel like I need it.


12. I can do things like ask friends for comfort. Wow! People are there! It really is amazing! (and I really mean that and am not being sarcastic! It's just... whenever I least expect it and sometimes when I most need it, help will show up, there will be an outstretched hand or a kind word, and it really is quite amazing!)


13. Sleep is good. Showers are good. Sleep and a hot shower usually help.


14. Remembering to feed the stomach is good too!


15. Really basic things in life, like eating well and sleeping regularly and having a balanced lifestyle, are actually really, really hard! There is no "just" about them!


16. Sometimes I am just amazed that there is so much to be happy about!

So. Do you guys have these epiphanies of duh? What are they?

This is my life...

Moments of terror: finding out in the bathroom at work that the zipper on your jeans is broken. Not only is the zipper broken, but these are low-cut, very tight jeans, so there is no good way of disguising the gap, not even by tying a sweater around your waist. Not only is there a very large gap, but today is also the day you chose to wear extremely bright striped underwear which will not look like your jeans, no matter how hard you squint.

So yes, I nearly had a heart attack about five minutes ago, and spent what felt like hours trying to zip up my damn pants.

I seem to be safe now, but I'm going to be staring at my zipper twice a minute and looking vaguely ridiculous.

I hate it when my pants betray me!

(no subject)

I got more rats! Eh, not pet rats, unfortunately (I suspect Fool-rat and Fitz-rat would be slightly unpleased with me if I did that. Or they'd be happy and have fun beating up the new rats). Anyhow, found out via Neil Gaiman's blog that Lisa Snellings' rat figurines are on sale till Sept. 23!

Details here. Check out the rats!

I got me the Neil Gaiman rat (of course! I've been wanting it for forever!), the magic rat (so cute!) and the bad, bad rat, because that's what I call Fitz-rat all the time. He really is a bad, bad rat though!