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And another happy thought: I think I'm not depressed anymore. It's hard to be sure, but that's how it feels. I realized it today when I was calling up the insurance company to make arrangements and file claims and all that other nasty stuff. Me. I called them up and calmly discussed all this. I did not break into tears. I didn't freak out and make the boy do it. I didn't particularly want to do it, but I had to, and I got the ball rolling. It sounds like such a silly, inconsequential little thing, but it was one of the hardest things about being depressed (well, that and the whole being depressed and screaming and miserable and hurting bit).

I'm almost scared to point it out, for fear that I'll simply relapse again. It feels like finally being able to breathe again, not realizing that the entire time I had had this giant weight on my chest. I had almost forgotten what it was like, not being anxious and worried and stressed about everything, about my own competence. This is nice. I hope this lasts.

Addendum, in case I am sounding too Pollyannish these days (I am just so overwhelmingly grateful that I am ok and that the other guy is ok that I am cycling through being extraordinarily happy and really really scared about driving) -- I am still kicking myself in the head because I forgot the hardcover library sale was today and I missed it! Argh.

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depression

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Hee, that was my reaction to the missed sale too! And the next one they have is in summer!! Argh indeed.

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