(no subject)

[oyceter]

I post like mad today...

Was turned down for job offer during interview today. Feel rather down and unemployable (translate: "OMG I will never get a job evah and be stuck and careerless for the rest of my life because I'm not aggressive or confident!" *bursts into tears and flails dramatically*). Really would like to kick the interviewer. Yes, I know you are in a position of power, and I know I ask stupid questions and my resume sucks, but given that I cannot be rude or call you on your jerkness given my status as a job seeker, did you really have to be that rude and condescending? Jeez. On the other hand, it is probably good I did not get an offer because frankly, I disliked everyone in the company I talked to, disliked all the values they espoused, and they all smelled faintly of investment-banktitude.

And then an old high school friend IMs me and asks if I would want to open a bookstore with her someday. Of course, none of this is even remotely close to concrete, and there are tens of millions of reasons why this would be a Bad Idea.

- my friend and I could be absolutely horrible as business partners, which could ruin the business and our friendship
- she has not much industry experience, and my own is very negligible
- no benefits (or, I would assume from the bookstore, limited benefits)
- needs a lot of money
- would mean more hours of work, not less
- probably no vacation for the first five to ten years or so, and many many long hours and headaches
- bookstores as a whole not doing so well
- far in the future
- little financial security
- much responsibility and stress
- the horrors of retail

And yet, it is still appealing. Probably because I have not yet worked all-nighters trying to make it happen or been perpetually worried about going out of business. Also, am not assertive or aggressive or other such traits that business starters should probably be.

And yet.

I have no idea. I know I am being influenced because I loathe job searching. I know that I am 23 years old and don't have nearly enough business experience or knowledge or anything. I would also really like something resembling job security, benefits, a good retirement plan, vacation time, and oodles of money so I could eat fancy food and buy truckloads of books. And bookshelves for the truckloads of books. And a new house for the bookshelves.

Ahem.

But even with the sometimes awful experiences that come with my current job, every time I think "owning a bookstore," it sounds a little magical. Maybe I am being too idealistic. While I cannot seem to summon anything resembling enthusiasm for most other job descriptions I've looked at.

I don't know. I don't even know how to get there, even if I knew it was my ideal job. I don't even know what I should be doing now. I don't know how to reconcile this with current job search. Although it does make me feel a little better -- if I don't find a job, I must remember I am not stuck. I am merely acquiring experience for bookstore-ownership. Somehow, that sounds better to the self-esteem than Perpetual Shelver.

Comments

[ywong.livejournal.com]

The company you interviewed with (if it's the one I asked you about) seemed like a real dot-com scam kind of thing, so you should be happy not to be working there. I restrained myself from going "ewww, ick" when you told me what company it was, but now that you haven't gotten the job there, I can say that.

If you're 23, you should seriously be considering the bookstore thing. Doing anything like that is always a "bad idea" (and I'm sure your parents and other responsible people will tell you that), but the only route to happiness is to chase your dreams and do what you like. I guess your friend is just saying "some day," and not "right now," so it's not a decision you seem to need to make, but just how do you think small independent bookstores get started, anyways? Enthusiasm for a job, even with all the drawbacks you mentioned, is the primary and necessary component for success. Everything else (the business end of it, etc) you can figure out through diligent study.

[oyceter]

Really? They seemed a fairly legitimate company, unlike a lot of the insurance sales companies that spam from Monster, but I dunno. How scam-like are they? (or if you don't want to answer here, you could always email it to me: oyceter at livejournal.com)

I keep wavering about the bookstore thing -- part of me wants a steady salary and job security, and the other part is rather delighted at the idea of having my own bookstore. There is also the problem of not having capital or stock or anything.. and my friend is still thinking as well. I think I will start researching it on the side..

[ywong.livejournal.com]

Well, I didn't mean legitimate in the real scam way, but more in the "sounds like a crappy dot-com that doesn't have a viable product." You didn't give many details, so I could be wrong, but the attitude of the guy you described sounded familiar to me in a bad way.

Go bookstore!

[oyceter]

Yeah, that sounds rather like it, and the attitude of all the people there that I talked to was really off-putting.