Tenth blogiversary

[oyceter]

I started my Livejournal ten years ago today, when I was crushingly depressed, in the middle of my senior thesis, and so gray that Buffy was one of the only things that kept me going. I wrote a bit about how reading valerie_z's LJ got me to start using the word "depression" for what I was feeling, and I wanted an LJ of my own both to talk about my own depression but also to talk about Buffy. I didn't have many expectations, just the hope that a few people would drop by with kind words or Jossverse squee. Vague hopes, really, and even at my most optimistic, I barely touched on just how influential that choice to buy a one-month subscription—I didn't know anyone to get an invite code from—could possibly be.

I don't know what I would have done, those first few years out of undergrad, if I hadn't had my blog, if I hadn't had people talking honestly and openly about therapy and meds, both things that absolutely terrified me. I don't know what I would have done without book recs and squee and people cheering me on when I got my first Real Job, particularly when I knew it was something my parents were not too happy with. I don't know what I would have done without you guys when my first boyfriend broke up with me, the sympathetic comments and treats in the mail and mix tapes (CDs) and phone calls all tangible proof that someone (many someones) out there cared.

This is how I first heard about Wiscon and how I decided to finally go in 2006, how I started to finally take what I had learned of feminism from you all and apply it to my experiences of being Chinese, to so many of the things that had bugged me in college that I couldn't quite put a finger on. This is how I learned to be angry and how I learned to speak up, how I learned that the best friends would listen and disagree and argue and it wouldn't be the end of the of the world, that Geek Social Fallacies were fallacies and not everyone I liked had to like each other. This is where I learned that what I had to say was important too.

I want to focus on this not because of how it changed my politics (because I've written a lot about that), but because of how it changed the way I interacted with people. Learning to say no, to disagree, to draw boundaries, to realize friendships aren't transitive, to trust my own instincts, to believe that I have something to say and something worth saying while also holding open the possibility of being wrong, all of these are things I do imperfectly, but these things have made such a difference to me offline, from grad school to my current relationship with CB to how I now interact with my family.

So much of who I am right now is tied up so tightly with this blog, from experiences both happy and painful to some of the best friends I have. Thanks to everyone who has read and commented, past and present and hopefully future. These collections of words didn't just save my life so many years ago, they've shaped and molded it into something I never could have anticipated, and I'm so glad my tenth blogiversary is happening at a time I'm starting to post more and when so many other people seem to be too.

♥

Comments

[littlebutfierce]

♥ ♥ ♥ I am so glad to know you! & yes, so much this, about how spaces like LJ/DW have helped w/depression, w/friendships & how to navigate them, & how to trust oneself more.

[kate_nepveu]

Hi! I'm glad I know you!

[coffeeandink]

♥

[oracne]

I am so glad you did, because otherwise we might never have met! And then I would be a sadder person and not know the joys of pet rats.

[masqthephlsphr]

Happy blog-aversary! So happy to hear how it changed your life.

It's been ten years for me, too, in April.

[oyceter]

I remember a lot of AtPo people getting LJs around that time, so wondering how many other people just hit ten years this year.

[masqthephlsphr]

I suspect quite a few.

[glass_icarus]

♥ ♥ ♥!!!

[troisroyaumes]

<3 <3 <3

[princessofgeeks]

way cool.

[laurashapiro]

I love you. Thank you for writing this. I'm proud and happy to know you.

[starlady]

People like you are why the Internet is so awesome. ♥

[umadoshi]

Happy blogiversary! *^^*

[boxofdelights]

I'm a lot older than you, but I also learned a lot about communication and friendship through LJ, from participating in conversation and even more from watching better communicators deal with communication, miscommunication, and disagreement. And I found fandom! and Wiscon! and many interesting people, including you!

I'm glad you're here.

[minnaway]

Happy blogiversary! So glad we were in Buffy/AtS at the same time.

[thistleingrey]

Glad you are here!

[metaphortunate]

Yaaaaaaay. :)

[qian]

This post made my heart open with affection. I'm so glad I know you!

(It reminded me to check as well, and saw my tenth LJ blogiversary passed on August 2002. :O I had a diaryland before that but goodness knows when I started it ...)

[lnhammer]

<3

[jinian]

You are awesome, and I am very happy to know you.

LJ helped me too...

[(Anonymous)]

It's hard to imagine sharing views and life expereinces with people from all corners of the world. Several of them send me Christmas cards each year! The people of LJ are like that. Open to newe ideas, but will defend where they're at now. Being open to new ideas is hard, and sometimes scary, but I have LJ to share my ideas and feelings with.

[estara]

Thanks for being here and continuing to be here.

You were my introduction to Wiscon, to Racefail and to a lot of feminist links, too - so you've certainly shaped a lot of my personal awareness of these.

[lady_ganesh]

It's amazing how those little-seeming things change us, isn't it? ♥