Sakura of DOOM

rachelmanija has this great post with people suggesting their cool bits, aka, what they love reading about, and I have decided that my perfect, absolutely insane, could probably only be done by Yuki Kaori or Laura Kinsale level of cracktastic thing to read would be:

("cool bits" in blue)

During the ongoing war between a corrupt Heaven and rebellious Hell, an angel (winged, of course) falls for a demon -- let's make her an assassin -- and this forbidden love has them somehow be persecuted or whatnot (handwavy plot things go here). (also, the persecution part isn't blue because I don't care so much for that)

Oh wait, let's make them meet while she's dressed as a guy. Let's also make her the nth incarnation of Lucifer. Also, they have to meet while she's on a sekrit undercover mission to (handwavy plot thing) do something of great strategic importance in Heaven, so of course she goes in as a courtesan. Yes, they have courtesans in Heaven. What do you mean, this doesn't make sense? ;)

Also, Angel!Guy has glasses.

In the ensuing completely complicated political machinations going on in Heaven, Angel!Guy ends up disguising himself as a courtesan as well (insert handwavy plot thing), possibly to figure out what Demon!Girl is doing, which of course has to involve poison, assassination, secret passages in the palaces of Heaven, and a complex cipher that somehow Angel!Guy figures out and they use to communicate with each other. Demon!Girl gets to have much fun maneuvering in the courts of Heaven (yay, I get to make Heaven have courts and secret passages!) and of course uses fans and other such signals. I'm sure somehow Angel!Guy and Demon!Girl manage to have a duel of wits and swords, which somehow resolves in hot against-a-wall sex involving the undoing of many buttons, a head falling back against the wall, and a blowjob in which the power lies with Demon!Girl and the subsequent breaking of Angel!Guy's reserved exterior.

Naturally, something greatly tragic happens, forcing Angel!Boy and Demon!Girl to go down in non-literal flames together (you can never tell in Heaven and Hell). Naturally, they do this despite knowing that they're doomed. Magic Plot Device Fairy comes in and allows them to choose a memory wipe for both and reinstatement in Heaven and Hell, or many painful reincarnations on Earth. Of course, reincarnation option comes with the catch that neither will remember their previous lives.

Guess which one I make them pick?

This means I get to have reincarnations set in turn-of-the-century Europe, complete with bustles and corsets, along with one set in Meiji Japan in which Angel!Guy gets to wear bowler hats and hakama. Of course, all the reincarnations end tragically.

Handwavy plot device takes over, leading to Angel!Boy getting a few memories back and looking through the ages for Demon!Girl, which of course leads to love from afar with Demon!Girl not knowing (amnesia, y'know?). Also, because Angel!Boy is quietly angsty, yet nice and reserved and polite with good-manners, while Demon!Girl is quiet and deadly and cold, just a hand on the shoulder is huge. Naturally, even though Demon!Girl doesn't know what's going on, they become a sort-of family of broken people who are less broken around each other. Also, sex scene in which Demon!Girl loses control finally and illustrates the fine line between pleasure and pain.

And of course they get to learn about living and being alive together.

Before Heaven and Hell come back in the picture, Demon!Girl gets her memories back and much more handwavy plot stuff happens.

Ok, I think I got most things in except a love of knowledge and crafty things, but I suspect making Demon!Girl or Angel!Boy a knitter may be stretching things.

So that's the portrait of my id!

Tell me yours! (if you do it in your own LJ, I'd love to get a link to it so I can read it!)

So Laura Kinsale's Shadowheart is still lurking in my head right now and sinking its kinky barbed hooks into me. I feel like I should not still be in the "GUH" mode, except obviously, I am.

This, linked with thoughts on if it would hit another reader this hard if the entire control thing wasn't their kink, along with a newly revived passion for EAS non-fiction and sexual anthropology type non-fiction in general, has somehow combined and merged in my head into a "What makes me pick up a book?" type post (this is the post I was going to make before being distracted by white corn, which, if anyone is wondering, was quite good despite the un-prettiness).

Nowadays, since I have gone past my mad binge on sff (mid-high school) and am now situated in a place in which books are deliriously plentiful, I very rarely make impulse buys.

Don't laugh at me, I really don't, despite my utter lack of control in bookstores and libraries.

Instead, I have a giant list of Books to Read, as recommended by various people on LJ, real life, newspaper and magazine reviews, and general word of mouth. I think I have trained myself to do this because before, in Taiwan, I would get one chance a year to buy books, during summer vacations in America. Obviously, I could not lug entire bookstores back to Taiwan, although I really wanted to. My suitcase would fit about ten paperbacks, give or take, and my mom would yell at me if I bought too many (too heavy). So I had to pick really good books that would stand up to multiple rereads throughout the year.

That said, there are some things, if I see them on the back cover, will almost certainly guarantee an impulse buy. For no good reason, listed below:

( Cut for length )

Now I'm curious... what are yours? Feel free to change the categories.. I was going to put in fanfic, but then I realized it would have to be by fandom, and by that time, this would be waaaaay too long.

ETA because I must have proofread before with my eyes closed or something.