(no subject)
Fri, Apr. 16th, 2004 08:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oyceterHaha! I am now a level 9 white mage.
I have also discovered the game is much more fun when one is playing with a group of people, as opposed to playing alone. I have also discovered that leveling is horribly addictive.
Being a white mage is good (all I do is stand around and cure people) because I very much hate running around and killing things. Too panicky for me, and then I spaz up and can't remember any of the keyboard commands again.
For other things, am confused about job issues again... the people at the bookstore really want me to stay and are offering to support me in starting a used bookstore in Taiwan, should I so want. Not that I really want to -- wrong environment, language difficulties, etc. But it is nice to be appreciated. They are also wondering if I can stay till June/July, because one of the buyers (we only have two left now) will be on vacation for a good three weeks. If I say yes, I will be trained as a buyer, which will be much more interesting than what I'm doing now. Unfortunately, I do not like the idea of committing to anything -- I have no idea about the timeline for the job search, because the market is just so unpredictable. Plus I feel bad because I have the career counselor person helping me out, and ... I don't know. I just feel bad making whiplash plan changes all of a sudden, either way. Argh. Truly, I am Vaughn the fence-sitter. This is quite horrid.
It's just very confusing, and I'm starting to like the people more (or feel more comfortable), and the thought of starting afresh yet again is scary, of course. But I also know this is not long-term for me now. It would be so handy if some fairy came down and told me: "This is the right choice. Go forth and follow the flowchart I have given you, and all will be well." That would be quite reassuring (not to mention slightly freaky and probably indicative of my losing my mind).
I have also discovered the game is much more fun when one is playing with a group of people, as opposed to playing alone. I have also discovered that leveling is horribly addictive.
Being a white mage is good (all I do is stand around and cure people) because I very much hate running around and killing things. Too panicky for me, and then I spaz up and can't remember any of the keyboard commands again.
For other things, am confused about job issues again... the people at the bookstore really want me to stay and are offering to support me in starting a used bookstore in Taiwan, should I so want. Not that I really want to -- wrong environment, language difficulties, etc. But it is nice to be appreciated. They are also wondering if I can stay till June/July, because one of the buyers (we only have two left now) will be on vacation for a good three weeks. If I say yes, I will be trained as a buyer, which will be much more interesting than what I'm doing now. Unfortunately, I do not like the idea of committing to anything -- I have no idea about the timeline for the job search, because the market is just so unpredictable. Plus I feel bad because I have the career counselor person helping me out, and ... I don't know. I just feel bad making whiplash plan changes all of a sudden, either way. Argh. Truly, I am Vaughn the fence-sitter. This is quite horrid.
It's just very confusing, and I'm starting to like the people more (or feel more comfortable), and the thought of starting afresh yet again is scary, of course. But I also know this is not long-term for me now. It would be so handy if some fairy came down and told me: "This is the right choice. Go forth and follow the flowchart I have given you, and all will be well." That would be quite reassuring (not to mention slightly freaky and probably indicative of my losing my mind).
Tags:
(no subject)
Sat, Apr. 17th, 2004 06:25 am (UTC)It may not work for you but just explaining to them what you've said here (a little altered) could be good; that you have to think of your future and keep looking, and what you need from them that would work, and then if you do think you might like to stay saying that, and finishing with the why and what is good about the place.
Usually in conversations towards postive it's more palatable in a bad news then good news approach or optimally in a series of pos/neg/pos so you end with an up note. And then having some openess on both your ends, as your working towards a soln that is biggerthan it's pieces. If you wish to.
There's no harm in uncertainty, nor in stating that. In my training of P who is a full time master's degree cand in pub policy at a local Uni, and originally from a prom family in Zimbabwe, I recognize that the job is not a career choice for her and also that she has some qualities that are bigger than the job, and others that are sub par. We talk about it a lot and I make sure along the way that she's consciously choosing it, and that she know that I support her fully either way: go or stay. Which I truly do. It's easier for me to do this than her because of our positions, but it is possible to do from the other angle, as I did when I started there as an admin asst.
If she stays (which she did) I want us both to be happy. And working towards that decision is extremely valuable and I would appreciate this consciousness very much in a colleague(and this type of thinking isn't permanent, it isn't a I've decided and now I'm embedded in the concrete, you're going to be continuing to this type of thing all your working life to one degree or another.)It's sounds like, as painful as I know this is, you're doing really well.
You're a pretty amazing person, Oyceter.
(no subject)
Sat, Apr. 17th, 2004 02:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Sat, Apr. 17th, 2004 07:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Sun, Apr. 18th, 2004 05:25 pm (UTC)I think I am going to end up sticking with my decision to not commit, the final sticking point being that I will be committing to three more months of shelving! Ugh.
At this point, going out and looking for a more business oriented job feels much less constricting than staying at the bookstore -- I mean, I don't want to give up the thought of owning my own bookstore, but I also don't think I'm ready for that now. Too much responsibility, too little flexibility in terms of career and in terms of moving around.
Sigh.
Thank you for the thoughts! I'm hoping things are still going well at work for you, and glad to hear that you've gotten a start on your garden again!