(no subject)

[oyceter]

Sparked by superplin's old post:

I loved Buffy through the earlier seasons and admired her and thought she was great, but I never loved her more than in late season 5 and season 6, when she was depressed and downtrodden and angry. I loved her most when she was overwhelmed by the world, when she was thisclose to the breaking point, and when she sometimes crossed over.

Spoilery through Buffy S6

I saw her on the screen beating up Spike with so much self-hatred, and I saw myself in her.

Well, obviously not beating up Spike.

But I understood her then, felt like I had lived under her skin, felt that horrible pressure when nothing works, when everything is just one more thing that wears you down. And while I love Buffy in the earlier seasons, she's not me then. She's ten times better than me, smarter and faster and braver, and I admire her for that. But I've never had real moments of righteous anger, or of kicking villain butt, or of facing death and going on anyway.

So while I adore Buffy before her mother died, I understand Buffy afterwards.

Comments

[katie-m.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was exactly the opposite. Her reaction to trauma is not mine; I lost my ability to identify with her in S6, and never really got it back.

Which is funny, because outside of the acting out with Spike thing - which has never been my style - I am more like depressed irritable overwhelmed Buffy than the earlier version. I suspect that I had the same reaction to her that I have to myself when I'm in those moods, which is something like "oh, for Christ's sake, get over yourself!" I do realize this isn't a helpful reaction, but there you are.

[oyceter]

*nods* I always find it interesting seeing how much people's identification with shows or characters coincides with their personalities.

A very obvious case here would be Vaughn resembling many guy friends I know who kept asking me for relationship advice and not listening to me. Most remarkably, a very good friend of mine who broke up and made up with his girlfriend at least five times, I swear.