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I love BitTorrent. And wildfeed. And again, I have watched Buffy a day before it airs.. this makes me feel like I'm outwitting the networks or something in some essential way. Don't ask.

Wow. I love Buffy. Because the beginning of this episode really kind of sucked. And I'm one of those Buffy fans who isn't going everywhere online complaining about how Buffy is horrible now and how it doesn't live up to its glory days of [insert season here]. But it was just lacking a certain spark that I had been expecting, since I have been spoiled a little. First, I feel like there's not that much chemistry between Principal Wood/Robin and Buffy right now, although I did like Buffy showing him her pencils. Then the Spike/Anya interaction was more Not!Snarky!Spike, then more potential slayer action. The huge group scenes with the potential slayers really kind of bores me. None of them really have enough personality for me to care about them, and I still find the idea of Buffy leading an army a bit silly. Then Kennedy was leading them and being a little too invested in her position of power, insulting Chloe and not allowing Amanda to say anything to the principal.

I feel a bit heartless, but in all honesty, Chloe's death wasn't the huge, heartbreaking event that UPN promos promised.. then again, what is? I was also spoiled for that. It just felt like one of the extras dying, like the man burning to death in OMWF, significant because it's a death, but not so much to me because I'm not connected with them. I have nothing emotionally invested in the potentials. But Buffy's speech afterward was such a huge world of wrong. In some way, I loved her calling out the potentials for not doing anything and for calling Chloe stupid, because suicide is very stupid in general. But, I also felt Xander was right -- Buffy's been telling them what to do, putting herself up as this great leader to be followed, a shining example to the other potentials, but she hasn't been "showing them the world," like she promised Dawn. And she's been ignoring her friends by concentrating on the potentials, ignoring her sister, and basically looking at them like tools. Which is much more like Wishverse!Buffy than our Buffy, who is usually loyal to a fault and prided herself on having an outside life. I did love the fact that she called out Spike's non-fighting, especially when he was whupped pretty soundly by the Ashanti demon last week.

Then the episode got wonderful.

This is why I love ME... everytime there is something off this season (and in Angel too), it's something that was deliberately supposed to be off. Kennedy and Willow's little relationship is already experiencing its first crack, with Kennedy constantly pressuring Willow to use her magic to kick ass, the complete opposite of Tara, and of course it backfired completely on her. Kennedy is about power in this episode. She's portrayed as the drill sargeant of the other potentials, and her words in part bring about Chloe's death, and, like Willow of old, she doesn't understand that sometimes using power is much worse than not. So when Willow's magic sucks the life out of her, Kennedy is hurt, although she has repeatedly been warned about this. Kennedy, like Willow before, didn't have respect for the power she was playing with, and as a result got burned.

Souled!Spike still has no idea who or what he is. He protects Anya, but doesn't trust enough in his prowess to defeat the demon. He doesn't know his place in Buffy's life, now that Wood has appeared. And apparently his soul isn't the huge mystical solution to all his problems. Principal Wood certainly doesn't care about it, and as Spike awkwardly realized, the soul doens't even make him unique. And as we've seen in past episodes, the soul in the end doesn't make that much of a difference if Warren, Willow, and Angel can all condemn people to death while still in possession of their own. And Buffy, the main reason he got himself a soul, doesn't even want him the way he is now. She needs the viscious Spike of old, she says, she needs the killer. And Spike looks a bit demoralized by that, like Buffy of season five. He says to Willow and Xander and company after Buffy jumps through the portal, "Well, that's [killing] all I'm good for." He seems to be wondering if he is indeed just a killer, like Buffy wondered about her Slayerness. He is thrashed soundly by the portal demon, and then goes to find Nikki's coat as a talisman, using it to bring back the killer Spike of old, maybe as well as a hint of the killer that lies in the Slayer as well. And it works. He swaggers off to rock music, and his fight is paralleled with Buffy's with the cuts. Spike is back! But is he just a killer now, or will he just revert to being the non-snarky souled Spike? Maybe he needs to find a way to integrate these two aspects of himself, just as Buffy needs to integrate her killer Slayer self with her compassionate side.

And Buffy. Ooooo, views of the First Slayer! In the end, I think Buffy will have made the right choice. Because for the First, it's all about power, and Buffy's been trying to command with power, acting as a war leader, disregarding her friends. But as Kennedy demonstrated in the episode, power used without respect will only turn on you. And as Buffy herself commented in First Date, you can't fight evil with evil. I don't think Buffy could have accepted the power the shadow men were offering her, because it was a demonic power rooted in the forcing of a young girl many centuries ago to be something Other. I think many more choices are coming up for the Scoobies regarding power. So far, Anya has willingly given up hers, as has Dawn. Xander seems fairly comfortable in his utter lack of power (besides window fixing, which is a very important one in and of itself! ^_^). Spike has just chosen more power in the form of violence, and now that he's dechipped, we don't know how he'll use it. Kennedy seems to also be drifting toward a choice of power, although this episode's encounter with Chloe and Willow may turn her. And Willow is trying very hard to stay away from it, but she, like Buffy and Spike and Kennedy, is constantly being called upon to use hers.

And of course there is the alternative to power -- knowledge. Buffy rejected power and gained knowledge. Xander's first analogy about power and control with Willow may apply here too. Maybe knowledge, instead of being power, is control of power? If so, the Scoobies will probably be needing that really soon.

And now on to more thoughts on TV:

I don't watch Joe Millionaire. But everyone in the boy's room right now is watching the finale. And personally, I think the chosen girl should go dump Joe Millionaire's ass, because even if he is poor and whatever, he lied about the money in order to date girls on national television. And when he gets the million dollars, because of course he will, she should just dump him again. Because any guy who lies about having whatever obscene amount of money he said should be dumped on his ass, not because he's poor, but because he's a stupid scheming liar who has no respect for the girls anyway. I mean, if he's going to bring them on TV to lie to them and then watch and see if they pass the test of money, he's very scummy. And I'm not saying the girls have that much respect anyway, because, well, see national television comment, but if any of them have any sort of respect, they should so dump him. Sorry. I have nothing but contempt for this show. And Temptation Island. And the Hot or Not show. At least American Idol is more talent-searchy and less about making people go down into their lower common denominator (I think..). Although anyone willing to go on TV to be insulted is pretty stupid in my book. Like the people on talk shows. This whole reality thing is just like a glorified talk show in the evening. This is all.

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