I am Asian, born and raised in San Francisco, a city in which there are many minority groups, but population-wise, dominated by whites and Asians; the issues of racial identity are complicated, and yes, there is a tendency to group American-assimilated, US-born Asians as white. Or semi-white; we're different, but not that different from the mainstream, and we're differentiated from the Asians who consciously put on cultural identifiers as Asian Americans, who have certain ways of dressing, wearing their hair, souping up their cars, etc. It's the difference between cultural and ethnic, I think. We're all ethnically Asian, but we broadcast our cultural identity in a certain way.
I feel... conflicted about this inside. On the one hand, it's marvelously convenient to be accepted in mainstream culture without cavil -- it's so routine it almost doesn't feel like cheating -- but at the same time, I'm practicing cultural appropriation of mainstream culture of my own. My friends totally tease me about how I'm the least Asian-seeming person they know; I'm an English major, geek out over high-art books and low-art movies (Buffy, comic books and science fiction movies), remember none of my native language, dress like a hippie-influenced hipster style... It makes me cringe inside because the kernal of ugliness in their teasing is the accusation of someone non-white dressing up in the clothes of the cultural overlords, and I don't want to be perceived that way. Of course, balanced against that is the reality, that in San Francisco, most US-born Asians are perceived as sort-of whites. We're not really categorized as WHITE but we're not really put in the ethnic minority box either. It's an interesting place to be.
Just this evening, riding home from the movies with two friends and we got a little bit into a discussion of racial identity and language. My other Asian friend and I both admitted we no could longer speak the native tongue of our immigrant parents -- we were born in the US and English and acculturation had killed that dead. While my other friend, who looks on the surface as white and American as apple pie, was born in Russia, came to this country at 6, speaks perfect English and imperfect Russian. In San Francisco, none of us are perceived as minorities, but inside each of us is a different story. I know my Asian friend moves easily in mainstream culture, but has deeply held views about Asians not fitting in perfectly with the mainstream. My Russian American friend slips easily and unself-consciously between her perfectly white American identity and her ethnic Russian identity, with an ease I envy. As for me, I'm a cultural appropriator and mostly chill about it, which on of days, worries me, but mostly, it comes so naturally I don't think of it consciously. I'm so much more aware of my gender and gender issues, it's not even funny how much the subtleties of racial/ethnic issues pass over my head.
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Fri, Jun. 2nd, 2006 08:40 am (UTC)I feel... conflicted about this inside. On the one hand, it's marvelously convenient to be accepted in mainstream culture without cavil -- it's so routine it almost doesn't feel like cheating -- but at the same time, I'm practicing cultural appropriation of mainstream culture of my own. My friends totally tease me about how I'm the least Asian-seeming person they know; I'm an English major, geek out over high-art books and low-art movies (Buffy, comic books and science fiction movies), remember none of my native language, dress like a hippie-influenced hipster style... It makes me cringe inside because the kernal of ugliness in their teasing is the accusation of someone non-white dressing up in the clothes of the cultural overlords, and I don't want to be perceived that way. Of course, balanced against that is the reality, that in San Francisco, most US-born Asians are perceived as sort-of whites. We're not really categorized as WHITE but we're not really put in the ethnic minority box either. It's an interesting place to be.
Just this evening, riding home from the movies with two friends and we got a little bit into a discussion of racial identity and language. My other Asian friend and I both admitted we no could longer speak the native tongue of our immigrant parents -- we were born in the US and English and acculturation had killed that dead. While my other friend, who looks on the surface as white and American as apple pie, was born in Russia, came to this country at 6, speaks perfect English and imperfect Russian. In San Francisco, none of us are perceived as minorities, but inside each of us is a different story. I know my Asian friend moves easily in mainstream culture, but has deeply held views about Asians not fitting in perfectly with the mainstream. My Russian American friend slips easily and unself-consciously between her perfectly white American identity and her ethnic Russian identity, with an ease I envy. As for me, I'm a cultural appropriator and mostly chill about it, which on of days, worries me, but mostly, it comes so naturally I don't think of it consciously. I'm so much more aware of my gender and gender issues, it's not even funny how much the subtleties of racial/ethnic issues pass over my head.
Really, not funny.