(no subject)

[oyceter]

The time between vacation and back-to-work, between people visiting and not is very odd -- particularly when the people visiting are my family or friends from high school. Actually, even visits from people from college are odd now.

It's strange because I revert to old patterns of behavior from years ago, and the people visiting expect me to be a person much more like I used to be, or something. Expectations are different, the environment is different. Things that I'd normally say now I'd avoid. Things that I'd normally avoid I'd joke about. Or something.

I can sort of feel myself melting around the edges a bit and reforming to me-in-CA-who-works, as opposed to me-the-big-sister or me-the-older-daughter. It's odd feeling it happen. On the other hand, it's not to say that people push me into those roles; it's just that habit formed by years and years is difficult to break. And I do find that I can carry parts of me-who-works into my other relationships, and vice versa.

Context is weird.

Comments

[canandagirl.livejournal.com]

I know what you're talking about. A couple of years ago, old friends of my mother found out where I lived and sent me a letter and a card. I was happy enough to hear from them, but the second letter they sent to me said something that totally turned me off. It said, "We always remember you how you were when you were 12." (or some other hideously young age, I can't remember now). In other words, we will never see you as an adult, married and living your own life. They will always see me as my mother's precious little girl. (Ack!) Scary AND offputting.

[oyceter]

Heh, yeah!

The odd thing is that while some of it is the way my parents still see me as their kid (understandable), some of it is just habit for me -- I revert to different speech patterns and subject matter and the like.

Of course, I do this with everyone (me on LJ and me in RL are a bit different), but it's just more noticeable with my family.

[cychi.livejournal.com]

It's interesting that you notice this. While I know it happens to me, I cannot always tell the difference, except that I sometimes talk about different things, or follow the tone of the person i'm talking with. I'm not going to be bombastic while i'm hanging out with my friend's parents after all!

[oyceter]

Oh wow! I can almost always tell the difference, it's really odd. I mean, it's not like I am a totally different person, it's just that the focus shifts a bit or something.