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Sun, Jun. 26th, 2005 02:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oyceterThe previous post on past LJ entries and keeping entries and the like has prompted me to go back and reread (for the who knows how many times) entries from the very beginning of this LJ. Heh. It's funny, because even though I started this LJ ostensibly to write about all my depressed feelings and rantings and such, thanks to reading about other people's experiences with depression on LJ, it is rather apparent that from the very start, I was rather conscious of other people reading it. Hopefully I didn't sound too stupid ;).
And I can almost visibly see when I started realizing that I could talk about books on LJ! And that not only could I talk about books, but that there was this entire community of people who read books like I did, who enjoyed talking about them like me, and how wonderful it was. Now that I've been here for two years, I think I've been taking that a little bit for granted, for which I feel bad about, because I am still so happy that there are people that I can talk to about these things! And they will understand perfectly when I say I eat leftovers and non-yummy food so I can have more money for books.
It's also rather funny, because I had no real idea who was reading my LJ back then, and now, two years down the line, I've made some pretty good friends via LJ, watched LJ really impact my own life, watched my own life change. It's strange to think that when I started this LJ, I was still in my senior year of college and that about half my entries were about writing the thesis of doom. It's also rather nice, because now I have a bit of a chronicle of a pretty turbulent time in my life, from writing a thesis to graduating to moving to California by myself. And then, of course, getting my first real job, and then job hunting and getting my second real job (the current one, which I enjoy greatly). And of course, there was depression, the dark fog that obscured everything. I can see old me trying so desperately to be cheerful, but ending up down and depressed and angry so very often. I read old entries and feel like hugging old me, because she doesn't know what she's still going to have to go through, even after graduating. I think I thought once I had graduated and found a real job, I wouldn't be so depressed anymore. Alas, if I had only known.
And I can almost visibly see when I started realizing that I could talk about books on LJ! And that not only could I talk about books, but that there was this entire community of people who read books like I did, who enjoyed talking about them like me, and how wonderful it was. Now that I've been here for two years, I think I've been taking that a little bit for granted, for which I feel bad about, because I am still so happy that there are people that I can talk to about these things! And they will understand perfectly when I say I eat leftovers and non-yummy food so I can have more money for books.
It's also rather funny, because I had no real idea who was reading my LJ back then, and now, two years down the line, I've made some pretty good friends via LJ, watched LJ really impact my own life, watched my own life change. It's strange to think that when I started this LJ, I was still in my senior year of college and that about half my entries were about writing the thesis of doom. It's also rather nice, because now I have a bit of a chronicle of a pretty turbulent time in my life, from writing a thesis to graduating to moving to California by myself. And then, of course, getting my first real job, and then job hunting and getting my second real job (the current one, which I enjoy greatly). And of course, there was depression, the dark fog that obscured everything. I can see old me trying so desperately to be cheerful, but ending up down and depressed and angry so very often. I read old entries and feel like hugging old me, because she doesn't know what she's still going to have to go through, even after graduating. I think I thought once I had graduated and found a real job, I wouldn't be so depressed anymore. Alas, if I had only known.
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Mon, Jun. 27th, 2005 01:46 pm (UTC)It's so odd to realize that I've been doing this for a little over two years now. Yikes. But yeah, I remember trying to figure out what I was going to write about, the whole friends list angst (not that I don't angst about that still), concern over who was reading me and everything, filter levels, etc.
I very much adore LJ book recs -- they've definitely expanded my reading pool! Although I don't keep track of them as well as I could...