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oyceterAnd an addendum to the previous post:
(obviously, this topic strikes something rather deeply in me)
I think part of why I think of nationality and nationalism/patriotism as a dangerous thing is not because of the current context of liberal vs. conservative or Taiwan's green vs. blue. I think part of it is because my understanding of the concept of nation comes from history classes, and as such, my concept of the modern nation-state is one based on the historical background of the first notions of nation-state arising from imperialism on one end and the repercussions of being colonized on the other.
I think the history of imperialism and colonization are so deeply embedded in my mind that I cannot think of most history without somehow relating it to this theme; my instinctive reaction to studying early East Asian history is to find factors in it that say the eventual colonization of various countries was not inevitable, that something could have been done. But I also read history in an attempt to understand how it happened, to understand all the factors that tied into each other so that instead of sailing to America, China was instead divided up into pieces by European nations (and Japan and America).
This is not a subject of strictly academic interest to me, just as my lifelong interest in feminism and gender issues is not strictly academic as well. I grew interested in them academically because these concepts are so central to my personal life -- I am a Chinese female who was born in America but spent half her life in Taiwan, I am a woman living in a world where I am still aware that most of the management positions in my company are filled by men, I am an Asian living in a world where many look to Asia for technology but America for culture, where China is a growing threat and opportunity in people's minds. I don't always think about being Asian. Usually I think of myself as just me, living my small life. People usually don't overtly remind me that I am Asian. But I notice when I'm one of the handful of non-Caucasian people at a scifi convention, I notice when I ogle at celebrities in magazines and realize I can never have that haircut because my hair is different, I notice when I am in a pearl milk tea store and instinctively order in Mandarin. I am not saying this as though it is a bad thing. It is just a thing. It's a part of me, just like my fingers and toes are a part of me; it's something about me that I only notice when I am conscious of it, be it out of pride or recognition or of a feeling of sticking out. Similarly, my English marks me as well. It's another one of those things that I don't usually notice until I realize how strange it sounds to hear perfect English coming out of another Asian's mouth. That's when I stop and think and realize that that is how someone has probably reacted to me before. I don't notice until I'm in Taiwan again and all the salesladies are asking me if I'm going to college in the States.
So for me, declaring myself to be "Chinese" or "American" means something, it's not something I can say without conflict. Similarly, the notion of nation, the formation of that notion in conjunction with the rise of imperialism in Europe, all these ideas are not academic. They mean something personal to me because they help me define one of the questions I have been struggling to answer all my life. What nationality am I? What race am I? Why are these questions that I have to think about? Why must I have a race or nationality? (since the previous post was about nationality and patriotism, I'm sticking to those parameters. But since this is me, whenever I say something about nationality or race, you can probably apply the same question to gender and sex.)
I identify myself with a race because of historical factors, because even if I may not identify myself with a race, other people probably are, consciously or unconsciously. It's not something I can ignore because it's something that's just there. I think about nation so much because topics like this come up in casual conversation; there will be the occasional statement about how America is the best country in the world, or how America is lazy and has no work ethic, or how China is Communist and Taking Over the World (tm). And I can't even have that conversation, because I'm still at the stage in which I'm wondering, "What does the concept of 'America the country' or 'China the country' mean? How did those concepts come about? How can they exist in the minds of millions of people when each person has a different take on it?"
Similarly, how can I even talk about "Chinese history" when what we now think of as China wasn't what China used to be? How can I even think about it when several centuries ago, the Qing Dynasty didn't even think of their territory as "China"?
And in the same vein, I cannot think about identifying myself with a country or a nation without remembering post-colonial history and the nationalist revivals in many areas with colonization in their pasts. And as such, I always remember the conflicts inherent in those nationalist movements, in the problems of declaring a nation to be a territory and ignoring different ethnic groups and struggles, the problems of declaring nation to be a people who have no land, the problems of declaring nation to be a government or movement that doesn't necessary have the backing of everyone they claim to be representing.
I don't even know how to begin talking about nation, national identity and patriotism because I can't even define the terms.
(obviously, this topic strikes something rather deeply in me)
I think part of why I think of nationality and nationalism/patriotism as a dangerous thing is not because of the current context of liberal vs. conservative or Taiwan's green vs. blue. I think part of it is because my understanding of the concept of nation comes from history classes, and as such, my concept of the modern nation-state is one based on the historical background of the first notions of nation-state arising from imperialism on one end and the repercussions of being colonized on the other.
I think the history of imperialism and colonization are so deeply embedded in my mind that I cannot think of most history without somehow relating it to this theme; my instinctive reaction to studying early East Asian history is to find factors in it that say the eventual colonization of various countries was not inevitable, that something could have been done. But I also read history in an attempt to understand how it happened, to understand all the factors that tied into each other so that instead of sailing to America, China was instead divided up into pieces by European nations (and Japan and America).
This is not a subject of strictly academic interest to me, just as my lifelong interest in feminism and gender issues is not strictly academic as well. I grew interested in them academically because these concepts are so central to my personal life -- I am a Chinese female who was born in America but spent half her life in Taiwan, I am a woman living in a world where I am still aware that most of the management positions in my company are filled by men, I am an Asian living in a world where many look to Asia for technology but America for culture, where China is a growing threat and opportunity in people's minds. I don't always think about being Asian. Usually I think of myself as just me, living my small life. People usually don't overtly remind me that I am Asian. But I notice when I'm one of the handful of non-Caucasian people at a scifi convention, I notice when I ogle at celebrities in magazines and realize I can never have that haircut because my hair is different, I notice when I am in a pearl milk tea store and instinctively order in Mandarin. I am not saying this as though it is a bad thing. It is just a thing. It's a part of me, just like my fingers and toes are a part of me; it's something about me that I only notice when I am conscious of it, be it out of pride or recognition or of a feeling of sticking out. Similarly, my English marks me as well. It's another one of those things that I don't usually notice until I realize how strange it sounds to hear perfect English coming out of another Asian's mouth. That's when I stop and think and realize that that is how someone has probably reacted to me before. I don't notice until I'm in Taiwan again and all the salesladies are asking me if I'm going to college in the States.
So for me, declaring myself to be "Chinese" or "American" means something, it's not something I can say without conflict. Similarly, the notion of nation, the formation of that notion in conjunction with the rise of imperialism in Europe, all these ideas are not academic. They mean something personal to me because they help me define one of the questions I have been struggling to answer all my life. What nationality am I? What race am I? Why are these questions that I have to think about? Why must I have a race or nationality? (since the previous post was about nationality and patriotism, I'm sticking to those parameters. But since this is me, whenever I say something about nationality or race, you can probably apply the same question to gender and sex.)
I identify myself with a race because of historical factors, because even if I may not identify myself with a race, other people probably are, consciously or unconsciously. It's not something I can ignore because it's something that's just there. I think about nation so much because topics like this come up in casual conversation; there will be the occasional statement about how America is the best country in the world, or how America is lazy and has no work ethic, or how China is Communist and Taking Over the World (tm). And I can't even have that conversation, because I'm still at the stage in which I'm wondering, "What does the concept of 'America the country' or 'China the country' mean? How did those concepts come about? How can they exist in the minds of millions of people when each person has a different take on it?"
Similarly, how can I even talk about "Chinese history" when what we now think of as China wasn't what China used to be? How can I even think about it when several centuries ago, the Qing Dynasty didn't even think of their territory as "China"?
And in the same vein, I cannot think about identifying myself with a country or a nation without remembering post-colonial history and the nationalist revivals in many areas with colonization in their pasts. And as such, I always remember the conflicts inherent in those nationalist movements, in the problems of declaring a nation to be a territory and ignoring different ethnic groups and struggles, the problems of declaring nation to be a people who have no land, the problems of declaring nation to be a government or movement that doesn't necessary have the backing of everyone they claim to be representing.
I don't even know how to begin talking about nation, national identity and patriotism because I can't even define the terms.
(no subject)
Fri, Jun. 24th, 2005 01:01 am (UTC)Then again, it's not to say that someone else in my circumstances would turn to national/ethnic/gender identity issues, so, who knows? Ah, the strangeness of my brain ;).