(no subject)

[oyceter]

mrissa's got a good meme going. Er, I feel a bit like this LJ is turning into some sort of feel-good, new-age, PSA type thing, but I guess that's what I've been thinking about a lot lately.

Anyhow, watching people be so cruel to their bodies in the name of thinness or beauty or whatever seems to be something that's really going on around me lately. My mom and my sister are here, which means I am thinking more in the Taiwan mindset, which means I have to make a conscious effort not to feel bad about eating or having a tummy or not being a certain size. I just... well, I just really strongly dislike watching people deny themselves food and the like to fit into clothes or to look better. Of course, a great deal of this is probably because I connect food with a whole bunch of good things in life; food is my friend, food is a comfort, food is one of the basic joys of living.

It's sort of odd, because fannishly has mentioned several times that I am much more seasonal or connected with nature, or whatever that means, but I suppose that just means paying attention to certain things. Or else I just have a strange system. I know the way my appetite will respond throughout the month, I know what kinds of food I'll crave throughout the year when the seasons change. Right now is the season for fresh fruits and vegetables, for the light, for vinaigrettes and cold tea and watermelon and did I mention the fruit? Later on, when it gets colder, I'll start craving the starchy and the meaty, but right now, I feel like eating mostly fruits and salads. I feel like going out and walking all the time; I want to be out in this weather, with the sun on my face and the blue sky above me. In the winter I'll be a couch potato who never ventures outside of my blankets, but this weather, this is crying out for being out with the grass and the trees and the flowers.

I don't quite understand denying your body food. I do understand stuffing myself full of good food when I shouldn't because I don't know when I'll get it again, but in general, I try very hard to eat only when I'm hungry, to sort of listen to myself and test out what I'm craving at a certain time. I don't know if I actually eat healthily or not, and I do know that free snacks out in the DMZ at work (the free-for-all table for food)) I definitely grab stuff, but if I don't listen to my stomach and end up missing a meal, my stomach really makes me regret it later. I figure it is better to let it be and not fight it. I can always tell when something has hit me very, very emotionally in a bad sense when my appetite disappears.

So, I guess things that I like about my body: I like that it is very good at telling me when something is wrong with it. I like that it knows what season it is. I like that I am not at war with it most of the time (though sometimes I still feel I am too fat, particularly when trying on clothes I can't fit, and I am irritated with my nose right now for being stuffed up). I like that my feet go where I want them to go. I like the way my skin feels in the air. I like the way I taste things. I appreciate the fact that my knees work. I like that my fingers can knit without much thought from me, allowing me to watch TV. There. Usually I do not think that many good things about my body, so this is good. I suppose it's like one of those things that you don't appreciate until it doesn't work anymore, because really, who thinks about walking or seeing 20-20 (that's theoretical for me, since I have really bad eyes) or unplugged ears or unitchy skin most of the time?

Comments

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

I totally agree with you about food. Food is life, food is joy, food is culture... oh God, now I'm turning New Agey on you.

I love eating and I love doing things with my body-- karate or even just walking-- and I do like to look good in clothes, but I don't try to make myself fit the clothes, I just buy clothes that fit me and look good on me. Anything else is just adding extra insanity and neurosis to my life that I don't need.

By the way, you (and Angela) are not fat. Not even remotely fat. You both have very nice figures that balance being slim with having hips and breasts and the other things that women are supposed to have and that make you look good in the clothes you wear. And if clothes don't fit, that's because they're the wrong size, not because you're the wrong size.

[livinglaurel.livejournal.com]

By the way, you (and Angela) are not fat. Not even remotely fat. You both have very nice figures that balance being slim with having hips and breasts and the other things that women are supposed to have and that make you look good in the clothes you wear

DITTO. I've seen pix of both you guys. Anyone who says you are fat is not seeing clearly.

[oyceter]

Hee, food does funny things to people ;). But yeah, mmmmm food.

I sort of figure half the fun of shopping is trying to find things that fit and flatter. Besides, cuts down on temptation to buy too many new clothes!

[livinglaurel.livejournal.com]

That's a damned good meme mrissa came up with.

I used to lose weight by not-eating, and then as I got older, skipping even one meal doomed me to terrible migraine headaches. Not getting enough food or sleep are surefire migraine triggers for me. At first, I thought this was dreadfully unfair. Now I'm actually sort of grateful for it, because it means my body's really going to react poorly if I starve myself.

I like the way my skin feels in the air

I liked this, a lot. And the knees bit.

[oyceter]

Oy, yeah, not-eating is not-good. I'm generally pretty good at eating regularly, but not so great at sleeping regularly (particularly when I'm in the middle of an exciting new book).

[livinglaurel.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, my sleep habits are frelled from way back. And if I don't get enough sleep and then have to, say, work a regular dayjob, I get migraines....my body's revenge, I think.

[livinglaurel.livejournal.com]

d00d, also, hell, it's your LJ. If you want to type out the lyrics to "Kum-ba-yah," again, it's your LJ. If you want to make it into a slightly more positive space on teh intranets for your own use, why not? It's for you -- if other people have a problem with it, they can scroll on by.

[ann1962]

Amen!!!

[oyceter]

Hee, yes. It's weird walking that strange line between the public and the private.

[livinglaurel.livejournal.com]

d00d, tell me about it. I was like, "Jeez, should I publicly post something about my struggles with agoraphobia and goal to spend half an hour outside by myself? Is anyone interested in reading about that? Apparently they are....frightening...."

[ann1962]

I guess things that I like about my body: I like that it is very good at telling me when something is wrong with it.

Good point. It is a matter of trust I think. If you can trust your body, things will go much more smoothly. Being in tune with it helps in many different areas.

You've read my journal so you know I think that finding the positive in any situation is a skill. People fall into woe and let that guide them. The harder but ultimately fulfilling choice is to take action and find the good. When there is nothing else, that can be the choice. Buffy fighting Angelus spoke to me when he asked her what was left and she said herself. That is finding the good. I see you doing this and it is really beautiful. Never be embarrassed. Others will sometimes try to belittle choosing the comfort of self or goodness, but it is a worthy choice. Sometimes the only one.

[oyceter]

Yeah, I sort of figure it is better not ignoring things like hungry stomachs ;). Especially since everytime that I do, I end up with awful stomach aches for days after.

I like being happy, so I figure anything that isn't harmful that lets me be happy is probably a good thing ;). I guess sometimes I just feel a little funny about it, given how much sarcasm and irony there tends to be. Oh well! I will be bouncy and enthusiastic (and snarky every so often).