(no subject)

[oyceter]

I post like mad today...

Was turned down for job offer during interview today. Feel rather down and unemployable (translate: "OMG I will never get a job evah and be stuck and careerless for the rest of my life because I'm not aggressive or confident!" *bursts into tears and flails dramatically*). Really would like to kick the interviewer. Yes, I know you are in a position of power, and I know I ask stupid questions and my resume sucks, but given that I cannot be rude or call you on your jerkness given my status as a job seeker, did you really have to be that rude and condescending? Jeez. On the other hand, it is probably good I did not get an offer because frankly, I disliked everyone in the company I talked to, disliked all the values they espoused, and they all smelled faintly of investment-banktitude.

And then an old high school friend IMs me and asks if I would want to open a bookstore with her someday. Of course, none of this is even remotely close to concrete, and there are tens of millions of reasons why this would be a Bad Idea.

- my friend and I could be absolutely horrible as business partners, which could ruin the business and our friendship
- she has not much industry experience, and my own is very negligible
- no benefits (or, I would assume from the bookstore, limited benefits)
- needs a lot of money
- would mean more hours of work, not less
- probably no vacation for the first five to ten years or so, and many many long hours and headaches
- bookstores as a whole not doing so well
- far in the future
- little financial security
- much responsibility and stress
- the horrors of retail

And yet, it is still appealing. Probably because I have not yet worked all-nighters trying to make it happen or been perpetually worried about going out of business. Also, am not assertive or aggressive or other such traits that business starters should probably be.

And yet.

I have no idea. I know I am being influenced because I loathe job searching. I know that I am 23 years old and don't have nearly enough business experience or knowledge or anything. I would also really like something resembling job security, benefits, a good retirement plan, vacation time, and oodles of money so I could eat fancy food and buy truckloads of books. And bookshelves for the truckloads of books. And a new house for the bookshelves.

Ahem.

But even with the sometimes awful experiences that come with my current job, every time I think "owning a bookstore," it sounds a little magical. Maybe I am being too idealistic. While I cannot seem to summon anything resembling enthusiasm for most other job descriptions I've looked at.

I don't know. I don't even know how to get there, even if I knew it was my ideal job. I don't even know what I should be doing now. I don't know how to reconcile this with current job search. Although it does make me feel a little better -- if I don't find a job, I must remember I am not stuck. I am merely acquiring experience for bookstore-ownership. Somehow, that sounds better to the self-esteem than Perpetual Shelver.

Comments

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

I can see why it might be impractical, but I myself have always longed to run a bookshop.

[yhlee.livejournal.com]

And I long to work in one--friend of mine had been thinking of opening a gaming-sf/f bookstore at some point (she did business coursework and she's very organized and sensible, so she would've had a shot at making it work, I think) and I was so down for the idea of working there. She changed her plans for various reasons, though. *sigh*

[oyceter]

Working in one is at times incredibly cool and at times incredibly sucky. Mostly for me it depends on how many grumpy customers I have interacted with in a day and how many books I have to try to squeeze in inadequate shelf space.

But the feeling of being surrounded by books all day (and being able to borrow them at my job!) is the coolest thing ever. It's also broadened my reading a bit, which is good.

[oyceter]

It's really tempting. Really.