oyceter | (no subject)

rachelmanija has this great post with people suggesting their cool bits, aka, what they love reading about, and I have decided that my perfect, absolutely insane, could probably only be done by Yuki Kaori or Laura Kinsale level of cracktastic thing to read would be:

("cool bits" in blue)

During the ongoing war between a corrupt Heaven and rebellious Hell, an angel (winged, of course) falls for a demon -- let's make her an assassin -- and this forbidden love has them somehow be persecuted or whatnot (handwavy plot things go here). (also, the persecution part isn't blue because I don't care so much for that)

Oh wait, let's make them meet while she's dressed as a guy. Let's also make her the nth incarnation of Lucifer. Also, they have to meet while she's on a sekrit undercover mission to (handwavy plot thing) do something of great strategic importance in Heaven, so of course she goes in as a courtesan. Yes, they have courtesans in Heaven. What do you mean, this doesn't make sense? ;)

Also, Angel!Guy has glasses.

In the ensuing completely complicated political machinations going on in Heaven, Angel!Guy ends up disguising himself as a courtesan as well (insert handwavy plot thing), possibly to figure out what Demon!Girl is doing, which of course has to involve poison, assassination, secret passages in the palaces of Heaven, and a complex cipher that somehow Angel!Guy figures out and they use to communicate with each other. Demon!Girl gets to have much fun maneuvering in the courts of Heaven (yay, I get to make Heaven have courts and secret passages!) and of course uses fans and other such signals. I'm sure somehow Angel!Guy and Demon!Girl manage to have a duel of wits and swords, which somehow resolves in hot against-a-wall sex involving the undoing of many buttons, a head falling back against the wall, and a blowjob in which the power lies with Demon!Girl and the subsequent breaking of Angel!Guy's reserved exterior.

Naturally, something greatly tragic happens, forcing Angel!Boy and Demon!Girl to go down in non-literal flames together (you can never tell in Heaven and Hell). Naturally, they do this despite knowing that they're doomed. Magic Plot Device Fairy comes in and allows them to choose a memory wipe for both and reinstatement in Heaven and Hell, or many painful reincarnations on Earth. Of course, reincarnation option comes with the catch that neither will remember their previous lives.

Guess which one I make them pick?

This means I get to have reincarnations set in turn-of-the-century Europe, complete with bustles and corsets, along with one set in Meiji Japan in which Angel!Guy gets to wear bowler hats and hakama. Of course, all the reincarnations end tragically.

Handwavy plot device takes over, leading to Angel!Boy getting a few memories back and looking through the ages for Demon!Girl, which of course leads to love from afar with Demon!Girl not knowing (amnesia, y'know?). Also, because Angel!Boy is quietly angsty, yet nice and reserved and polite with good-manners, while Demon!Girl is quiet and deadly and cold, just a hand on the shoulder is huge. Naturally, even though Demon!Girl doesn't know what's going on, they become a sort-of family of broken people who are less broken around each other. Also, sex scene in which Demon!Girl loses control finally and illustrates the fine line between pleasure and pain.

And of course they get to learn about living and being alive together.

Before Heaven and Hell come back in the picture, Demon!Girl gets her memories back and much more handwavy plot stuff happens.

Ok, I think I got most things in except a love of knowledge and crafty things, but I suspect making Demon!Girl or Angel!Boy a knitter may be stretching things.

So that's the portrait of my id!

Tell me yours! (if you do it in your own LJ, I'd love to get a link to it so I can read it!)

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It really is remarkable how many of those Kaori Yuki manages to hit. (For me, too.)

Does she do the complex cipher? I was enjoying the summary but that one really caught my attention. =)

I don't think she does the complex cipher, alas =(. Unfortunatley, not that many books I've read have hit that with me, but oh, I love it. It would have made me like Dan Brown's books, except his prose was just too wretched.

*snork* Yes, I know!!

Well, I wish she had more girl!assassins or something like that, but every time she sticks another twist in Angel Sanctuary, my squee-meter goes through the roof! Just because... GAH! Wings! Feathers! Reincarnations! DOOM!

Ok, I think I got most things in except a love of knowledge and crafty things, but I suspect making Demon!Girl or Angel!Boy a knitter may be stretching things.

That's why you have at least one incarnation where someone's an artisan of some ilk. :D

I'm not sure I could put my cool bits together into a coherent narrative, since so many of them aren't specific character bits or plot points, but vaguer things like "borders" and "mist."

Muhahaha, one reincarnation is an assassin knitter who spins poison into the yarn!

Yay crack!

Oooo, but you should anyway! It's fun jamming in as many as possible!

Guess which one I make them pick?

hee!

That's a fine narrative you've got there. I don't think all of mine can belong in the same story.

(Maybe Demon Girl can be a poisoner in some reincarnation? That's crafty and geeky, and I think you mentioned poison at some point.)

I think there should be a knitting assassin who weaves poison into the yarn and slooooowly kills people that way.

Or something ;).

God, I would so read that. You should write it!

Also, Angel Boy could knit. (I need

rushthatspeaks icon "Is Quincy Archer gonna have to crochet a bitch?" right now.)

I would! Except I think if I wrote it, it'd end up being bad crack instead of good crack...

I think, per above suggestions, that one of them should have a reincarnation in which they spin... poisoned yarn! And knit it into Speshul Death Clothing.

Or something.

Because then it would be Yarn of DOOM! And everything is better with DOOM.

Simon R. Green has already written My Best Novel (Blue Moon Rising) and Geraldine Harris My Best Series (SEVEN CITADELS). :-D As a writer I will probably be catching up for the rest of my life.

You tempt me to write this, except for my niggling problem with romance. You could have fun with it, though! Think of it as writing fanfic for yourself!

I need to read Geraldine Harris! Is she the one who wrote the Citadel of Cranes or something like that as well?

You should totally write this! And hey, I don't mind not having the romance as long as there's angst and unspoken things galore like PK!

In conclusion, my id is totally on crack.

Your id does good plotting. :-)

It would be fun to write something along these lines. You are so tempting me, and I still have PK to work on, not to mention the vampire space opera!

Doooo eeeettttttt!!

Er, right, will be good and not tempt the Yoon.

Oh, wow. I would totally read that.

Muahhahaha! Welcome to the world of my id!

I can't believe your id is better at plotting than my whole, entire, life.

So yeah, I'd read that.

I keep getting caught up in the handwavy plot device parts, because really... I have no idea how those would ever make sense ;).

There is an obscurish '80s manga called "Matendou Sonata," and if it ever comes out in the U.S., you need to read it. ;)

Oh cool, thanks for the rec! Who's it by? Maybe I can find it in Kinokuniya or something...

Have you ever read Emma Holly?

She seems to have some romance/erotica series with demon lovers and etc. which this description reminded me of.

(I bought one of the books, but haven't yet read it.)

I've read one of her erotica books, which was ok, and I tried some of her romances, only to stop after a chapter or two because of the prose. Alas, usually with demon lovers, I only like it if the demon is female, just because there are soooooo many demon male lovers in romances.