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GIP
So tired. Not really physically tired, although I (still) need to try to do that sleeping at a normal hour thing. Mostly my brain hurts -- too many faces! Too much information! And being me, I am basically paralyzed with the fear of making a mistake. To give you some idea of my neuroses, one of the people on my team asked me to scout around and look for some sites with interesting/good design to brainstorm about a new site template, and I am scared that he now thinks I'm stupid because the sites I picked are stupid.
Yes, I know I'm neurotic, but unfortunately it doesn't make me any less nervous. Really, ibanking was the worst possible job to throw me into as a job introduction... mix a nervous perfectionist with a job that is extremely high pressure which places no priority on one's personal life and you get a nervous perfectionist on the verge of a breakdown because she's scared nothing she does is good enough. I just really don't want to screw up, and because I don't know what any of the standards or protocols or the like are, I feel like I'm stepping on eggshells every single second.
It really is just me too, because everyone I've talked to there is super nice and helpful. I was assigned a buddy, who is nice, the group I work with is really small, the overall department meeting I went to today was actually fun because the fifty-some people in the department and the VP were all joking and laughing and the like. So it is a good environment once I get used to it and know what I'm doing. But meanwhile, it's completely stressing me out because I worry about everything... going home at 5:30 (will they think I am a slacker? But I have nothing due... but other people are still here....), writing emails, everything. Ugh. I know the going home stress is from ibanking -- when you feel guilty about going home at 2 in the morning because everyone else is staying till 4, you know there's some problem.
I just really don't want to screw up.
Weird thing... during the dept. meeting, the VP was introducing the new people (hires and contractors), and the guy sitting behind me looked really familiar and had a familiar-sounding name. Turns out he is a fairly regular trader at the bookstore! So that was really strange talking to him, clash of my two worlds. I still miss the bookstore. How does everyone manage to check their LJs and post and the like from their jobs?
And now, that icon meme that was going around a while back...
My newest icon, made just because I like my rat pictures. Unfortunately it looks kind of stupid, but who cares, my rat is cute.
The icon I made of the portrait the co-worker at the bookstore drew of me. With the same rat as above icon. Hee. He is somehow just more photogenic than Fitz-rat. I think it's because Fitz-rat is too bouncy and never stays still for the camera.
My sarcastic icon or my Stargate icon. Although, come to think of it, I haven't watched Stargate in a while... but I might pick it up again sometime. Besides, how can one resist snarky Jack?
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thewildmole made this one for me when I was feeling depressed from the job searchage. ^_^.
My default icon. I actually don't change icons very often in posts, mostly because I'm lazy and I forget to. I really do like this one though -- it was the second one I made (ok, the second one I made via directing the boy on Photoshop... then I learned Photoshop). It's a little stuffed toy of a teruterubouzu, a Japanese doll made of tissue (I think) hung in a window to keep the rain away. Mostly I like it because it's happy and makes me smile.
*sniff* My gay dead show! The icon made more sense when I made it in the beginning of S5, and there's not much occasion to use it anymore, but I am struck by nostalgia. I also want to make one someday of the puppet powerwalk.
Some more very early icons made (the entire Endless set). Supposedly my contemplative icon, but I don't actually use it that often, which is too bad. I really love Michael Zulli's pencils in The Wake.
(another one from the Endless set) I really love this icon, because Delirum and Drusilla fit. It's too bad I didn't crop the picture so that people could see Delirium's fish on a string, but oh well. This one used to be my default for a while, and is now supposedly for silly-feeling posts.
(yet another from the Endless set) We can all guess what posts this one's for!
I really really really love the poster this came from and had to make it an icon right away. It's just the colors in sepia in the background, and the vast landscape, and Eowyn in her white gown standing with her back to us.
Sort of a congratulations icon, made mostly because I loved the original picture. I love the shadow play girls in Utena, so I liked the silhouettes, and Anthy and Utena holding hands in the end makes me happy. And of course there had to be some pink in it because it's Utena!
The Girardi family makes me happy. That is all ;).
My icon for book posts... I think it's rather self-explanatory...
Another icon made very early on when I was still figuring out Photoshop and was playing around with filters. It's actually a picture taken of a hair clip of mine and some random bits of jewelry filtered out of recognition. But I liked the colors, and I really like that 1920-style font.
Yay, it's Luke and Grace! I can't decide if the filtering on this one looks good or not, but what the heck. It's taken from the end of "Jump" of course, because I had to have an icon from that ep.
Yes, I know I'm neurotic, but unfortunately it doesn't make me any less nervous. Really, ibanking was the worst possible job to throw me into as a job introduction... mix a nervous perfectionist with a job that is extremely high pressure which places no priority on one's personal life and you get a nervous perfectionist on the verge of a breakdown because she's scared nothing she does is good enough. I just really don't want to screw up, and because I don't know what any of the standards or protocols or the like are, I feel like I'm stepping on eggshells every single second.
It really is just me too, because everyone I've talked to there is super nice and helpful. I was assigned a buddy, who is nice, the group I work with is really small, the overall department meeting I went to today was actually fun because the fifty-some people in the department and the VP were all joking and laughing and the like. So it is a good environment once I get used to it and know what I'm doing. But meanwhile, it's completely stressing me out because I worry about everything... going home at 5:30 (will they think I am a slacker? But I have nothing due... but other people are still here....), writing emails, everything. Ugh. I know the going home stress is from ibanking -- when you feel guilty about going home at 2 in the morning because everyone else is staying till 4, you know there's some problem.
I just really don't want to screw up.
Weird thing... during the dept. meeting, the VP was introducing the new people (hires and contractors), and the guy sitting behind me looked really familiar and had a familiar-sounding name. Turns out he is a fairly regular trader at the bookstore! So that was really strange talking to him, clash of my two worlds. I still miss the bookstore. How does everyone manage to check their LJs and post and the like from their jobs?
And now, that icon meme that was going around a while back...
My newest icon, made just because I like my rat pictures. Unfortunately it looks kind of stupid, but who cares, my rat is cute. The icon I made of the portrait the co-worker at the bookstore drew of me. With the same rat as above icon. Hee. He is somehow just more photogenic than Fitz-rat. I think it's because Fitz-rat is too bouncy and never stays still for the camera. My sarcastic icon or my Stargate icon. Although, come to think of it, I haven't watched Stargate in a while... but I might pick it up again sometime. Besides, how can one resist snarky Jack? thewildmole made this one for me when I was feeling depressed from the job searchage. ^_^. My default icon. I actually don't change icons very often in posts, mostly because I'm lazy and I forget to. I really do like this one though -- it was the second one I made (ok, the second one I made via directing the boy on Photoshop... then I learned Photoshop). It's a little stuffed toy of a teruterubouzu, a Japanese doll made of tissue (I think) hung in a window to keep the rain away. Mostly I like it because it's happy and makes me smile. *sniff* My gay dead show! The icon made more sense when I made it in the beginning of S5, and there's not much occasion to use it anymore, but I am struck by nostalgia. I also want to make one someday of the puppet powerwalk. Some more very early icons made (the entire Endless set). Supposedly my contemplative icon, but I don't actually use it that often, which is too bad. I really love Michael Zulli's pencils in The Wake. (another one from the Endless set) I really love this icon, because Delirum and Drusilla fit. It's too bad I didn't crop the picture so that people could see Delirium's fish on a string, but oh well. This one used to be my default for a while, and is now supposedly for silly-feeling posts. (yet another from the Endless set) We can all guess what posts this one's for! I really really really love the poster this came from and had to make it an icon right away. It's just the colors in sepia in the background, and the vast landscape, and Eowyn in her white gown standing with her back to us. Sort of a congratulations icon, made mostly because I loved the original picture. I love the shadow play girls in Utena, so I liked the silhouettes, and Anthy and Utena holding hands in the end makes me happy. And of course there had to be some pink in it because it's Utena! The Girardi family makes me happy. That is all ;). My icon for book posts... I think it's rather self-explanatory... Another icon made very early on when I was still figuring out Photoshop and was playing around with filters. It's actually a picture taken of a hair clip of mine and some random bits of jewelry filtered out of recognition. But I liked the colors, and I really like that 1920-style font. Yay, it's Luke and Grace! I can't decide if the filtering on this one looks good or not, but what the heck. It's taken from the end of "Jump" of course, because I had to have an icon from that ep.
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I'm trying to introduce my stepdaughter to LJ--she's a big Stargate fan. Is there a good Stargate community where she could lurk and really read about the show, to get a taste of the fan side of LJ?
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Yup, have an entire Endless set... should be up on my site. I haven't updated it for a while so it doesn't have anything I've made in the past year or so, but it's got the Endless ones.
As for Stargate... I never managed to get into an online community because I stopped watching around the first season (on DVD) and didn't want to be spoiled. But I know
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I hadn't seen your page before, or not recently. Love the Endless set, and also the authors.
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