![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
(no subject)
Favorite Olympic moments so far:
- Greek lady winning the 400m hurdles and watching the entire stadium cheer
- Felix Sanchez winning the first gold for the Dominican Republic
- Watching the American women's soccer team belt out the national anthem, completely out of tune, because I'm sick of no one singing
- The swimming relay between the Americans and the Australians, split second finish
- the Iraqi soccer team
- Watching the Greek springboard synchronized divers unexpectedly win gold
- Kate Allen coming up from nowhere and winning the triathalon
Paul Hamm winning the all-around would have been up here, except, grrrr, I was spoiled by the NYTimes and it unfortunately wasn't so exciting to watch =(. And, er, I was distracted while watching, so I didn't actually get to see all the excitement.
My dad had an extra camera lying around and gave it to me because mine is acting wonky. I have already filled the 128 mb card up with photos of the rats, videos of the rats, one picture of the boy, and two of the bookstore. I am turning into a rabid rat photographer -_-;;.
I am continuing to feel bad about job-gettage. Talked with career advisor lady today and felt horrible because am not aggressive or assertive or confident or even sure I am doing the right thing. Furthermore, do not want to appear aggressive or confident when I do not feel so. I also do not want to network or talk to other frightening career people, despite it being Good For Me and Good For My Future Career (in what? What career?) because they all scare me and make me feel completely stupid and small and inadequate and it just takes me back to doing ibanking and I have something akin to a nervous breakdown and can't drive home because I'm crying too hard. I don't know... the more I keep looking for jobs, the worse and worse and worse I feel about myself, and I guess that comes through interviews and informational interviews, so no one thinks I'm really worth helping anyway, which makes me feel even worse. And the vicious cycle continues.
And I probably screwed up my one chance at getting a job because I didn't do my research and sounded totally wishy-washy and stupid.
I can't tell anymore if it's worth doing this, instead of just staying at the bookstore and being less confused. Everyone (the boy, my parents, career advisor lady) is pushing for me to find a Real Job, and I can't even tell what I think about it anymore. And, I dunno. I just keep getting more and more depressed, or get more anxiety attacks, or whatever it is that happens to me.
- Greek lady winning the 400m hurdles and watching the entire stadium cheer
- Felix Sanchez winning the first gold for the Dominican Republic
- Watching the American women's soccer team belt out the national anthem, completely out of tune, because I'm sick of no one singing
- The swimming relay between the Americans and the Australians, split second finish
- the Iraqi soccer team
- Watching the Greek springboard synchronized divers unexpectedly win gold
- Kate Allen coming up from nowhere and winning the triathalon
Paul Hamm winning the all-around would have been up here, except, grrrr, I was spoiled by the NYTimes and it unfortunately wasn't so exciting to watch =(. And, er, I was distracted while watching, so I didn't actually get to see all the excitement.
My dad had an extra camera lying around and gave it to me because mine is acting wonky. I have already filled the 128 mb card up with photos of the rats, videos of the rats, one picture of the boy, and two of the bookstore. I am turning into a rabid rat photographer -_-;;.
I am continuing to feel bad about job-gettage. Talked with career advisor lady today and felt horrible because am not aggressive or assertive or confident or even sure I am doing the right thing. Furthermore, do not want to appear aggressive or confident when I do not feel so. I also do not want to network or talk to other frightening career people, despite it being Good For Me and Good For My Future Career (in what? What career?) because they all scare me and make me feel completely stupid and small and inadequate and it just takes me back to doing ibanking and I have something akin to a nervous breakdown and can't drive home because I'm crying too hard. I don't know... the more I keep looking for jobs, the worse and worse and worse I feel about myself, and I guess that comes through interviews and informational interviews, so no one thinks I'm really worth helping anyway, which makes me feel even worse. And the vicious cycle continues.
And I probably screwed up my one chance at getting a job because I didn't do my research and sounded totally wishy-washy and stupid.
I can't tell anymore if it's worth doing this, instead of just staying at the bookstore and being less confused. Everyone (the boy, my parents, career advisor lady) is pushing for me to find a Real Job, and I can't even tell what I think about it anymore. And, I dunno. I just keep getting more and more depressed, or get more anxiety attacks, or whatever it is that happens to me.
no subject
Maybe what would help is to take a couple weeks off from the job-hunting, especially if you're getting stressed and unhappy; I personally suck at making decisions under those circumstances (although I also know people who can pull themselves together--alas, I'm not one of 'em), and if you're okay at your current job for at least a little longer, the time off really may be the best thing so you can sit back, NOT think about it, and be refreshed to think about it in a better frame of mind.
One of the things I regret was that the one full-time job I held down before, y'know, spawning, I took because of in-law pressure. Circumstances made it almost impossible for me to do jobsearching in time for the regular school year to begin, so I was figuring on substituting, acclimating to Boston, and checking out the local school districts. Instead, when I was offered a full-time partway-through-the-year position specifically to replace a teacher who had completely let discipline/sanity lapse in all his classes, I did what was wrong for me as a first-year, and took the job, and ended up quitting three months later because it did get that bad. I would have been better off waiting out the year, despite the nagging, and going to a school that was a better fit for me, and starting out with my own classroom for the get-go instead of someone else's out-of-control kids. :-]
Moral of the story: do not let pressure make you jump into a situation that will be not-so-good for you.
no subject
Yeah.. I basically buckled under parental pressure and went for an investment banking internship in college, which was quite possibly one of the worst things to do. Ugh.