Notes (or, Too Much Figure Skating Has Scrambled My Brain)

[oyceter]

It is officially figure skating season, which means I waste chunks of time watching people on ice and knitting while snarking at the commentators. Pretty costumes! Sequins! Jumps! OLYMPICS!

(ok, also, I wanted an excuse to use my new "Neener!" icon)

Dear Brian Joubert,

You skate really pretty. Your face is really pretty. Your costumes are, unfortunately, hideous. I thought the brown naugahyde/pleather with ropes from last year was bad, but this year isn't so great either! If you are dressed as James Bond, why do you have "007" in sparkles on your back instead of a nice, spiffy tux? Why? And why the red and white bolero with studs everywhere?

Very blinded,
me


Dear Commentators,

Please stop fawning over Sasha Cohen. I think she skates beautifully and very well, but this doesn't mean that you have to compare every single thing every skater does afterward to her.

Also, "Wow, how good does it feel to win a gold medal?" is a really sucky interview question.

Snarkity,
me

PS. Beijing has not actually been the seat of Chinese civilization for the past three thousand years. I am sure it sounds quite romantic, but it is, alas, totally untrue.


Dear Michelle Kwan,

Where are you? Please win!

On pins and needles,
me


Dear Irina Slutskaya,

You are the cutest thing ever. I hope you win too!

Happy,
me


Dear Johnny Weir,

Why do all your costumes look like you dragged them out of the rag bin? You are pretty and look like Connor, but adding a few extra sequins and sparklies doesn't make your costume any less like Connor-out-of-Quartoth.

In fact, I think the sparklies make it even worse.

Fannishly confused,
me


Dear Evgeny Plushenko,

I miss you and your big nose! Come back!

Woefully,
me

Comments

[sophia-helix.livejournal.com]

Is Scott commentating? During the Olympics, I was surprised he managed to restrain himself from crawling onto the ice and then licking Sasha's skates.

(I am incapable of deciding whether she can skate or not, because I dont lik eher.)

(Also, wtf is up with men's costumes in the past few years? They scare me.)

[oyceter]

I think it's Terry Gannon and Peter Carruthers? It could be Scott who keeps interjecting the Sasha comments though; I seriously can't tell them apart.

She does skate nicely imho, plus, she does have really cool flexibility things, but jeez! They mention it every single time! At least she didn't fall so far...

Dude, did you see Joubert's brown naugahyde costume of doom? Ugliest thing ever.

[chi-zu.livejournal.com]

*snerk*

After superheros, ice skaters have the silliest costumes!

There's ice skating on tv? Where?! Must watch!

[oyceter]

You know, ice skaters may have even worse ones! The guys at least... it's the sequins! The superheroes at least only have to deal with spandex ;).

(pssst, ESPN/ABC airs stuff, but I have no idea when because I make Tivo figure out for me...)

[chi-zu.livejournal.com]

Well...you have a point.

I have no TiVo! Wah! I am deprived!

[oyceter]

Nyaha, I have found pictures of Joubert's horrible costumes! No sequins, it is true. But... the pleather! (links below in the comments)

[chi-zu.livejournal.com]

PS. I saw these (http://www.whatonearthcatalog.com/whatonearth/Item_Monty-Python-Rabbit-with-Big-Pointy-Teeth-Slippers_AS4892_ps_srm.html) and thought of you.

[oyceter]

I want those! Giant killer rabbits eat my feet!

[fiveandfour.livejournal.com]

I've been out of watching the figure skaters for awhile, so sadly I only know a couple of names on that list.

Now I imagine when I do see those other people I'll be marrying your comments to their costumes.

Yep, great fun ahead.

[oyceter]

Hee, I have been obsessively watching this year and the past year. Basically, ever since I figured out how to make Tivo automatically record them.

Joubert has got some awwwwful costumes! Here's the one he ended up in last year, after abandoning the brown naugahyde: http://theskatingtimes.com/images/2004/skateamerica/men/10-22-02-0385.jpg

And here's the infamous costume of fake leather fame:
http://theskatingtimes.com/images/2004/skateamerica/men/10-23-02-0411.jpg

Ok, you can't really tell in the picture, but the entire thing is brown pleather!

[chi-zu.livejournal.com]

Eew.

The first one could've been cool if it hadn't been completely overworked.
but there's no excusing the fluttery pleather of doom!

[fiveandfour.livejournal.com]

Those are just plain wrong. And scary. ::shudder::

But, on the bright side, they are good for a laugh.

[oyceter]

Ooo, here's one that shows off the fake leather better:
http://www.passion-patinage.com/IMG/jpg/joubert-lp-01.jpg

(sorry, I was complaining about this all last year...)

[midnightsjane.livejournal.com]

I just watched Skate Canada a week or so ago..Johnny Weir definitely had the sparkliest costume, although it didn't help his skating. I think that the best costume was Jeffrey Buttle's. Tasteful, not too skin tight..looked good. Some of the costumes are just so bizarre.
Sasha Cohen is very flexible, but I'm not overly impressed.

[oyceter]

*sneeerk*

I know, I felt bad for Johnny Weir =(. (I almost mistyped that as "Johnny Weird")

Jeffrey Buttle seems to dress nicely, thankfully.

I am glad Sasha Cohen hasn't been falling too much this year! Usually I get really nervous watching her because she'll be doing nicely, and them, wham!