Diary of a Cranky Bookwormby Aster Glenn Gray
This remarkable book not only captures EXACTLY what an adolescent diary can be like (the intensity! the self drama! the emotional whiplash!), but also tells a really honest, raw, funny, painful, joyful story about how friendships change, why and how friends can fall out of alignment, and how we make new friends.
A lot of coming-of-age stories feature socially alienated protagonists who eventually manage to find a circle of friends that accepts them, maybe in the context of breaking free of their awful communities or families. But plenty of people come of age and have to deal with a widening sense of what life is like, what friendship is, and who they themselves are who
aren’t particularly socially alienated and who maybe have a fairly happy home life, thanks very much.
Sage, the titular cranky diarist, is one such. She’s got a supportive group of friends that she loves and who love her. She’s maybe not the queen bee of her high school, but she’s definitely not a bullied social outcast. She’s smart and enjoys being smart, but she’s not a revenge-of-the-nerds-style nerd. She doesn’t have any life-shaping problems. If the story’s protagonist had been her friend Arielle or her friend Georgie, there would have been life-shaping problems, but then it would have been a much more conventional story. One thing that’s special about
Diary is how gripping Sage’s struggles are even though they’re maybe not NPR-worthy. Choosing colleges for example. Stressful! Drama-filled!
Here, Sage is finally admitting to Georgie that maybe she doesn’t want, after all, to go to the U, which is Georgie’s dream college. Georgie speaks first:
”Why are we visiting St. Olaf?”
“My parents want me to.”
“Haven’t you told them you’re going to the U?”
I shuffled my feet on the porch floor and looked down at my Beloit sweatshirt. “Well,” I said, “I’m not totally-for-sure going to the U, so … and they want me to visit St. Olaf, and …”
“But we’ve been planning to attend the U forever!” she cried.
“You’ve been planning that we’re going to attend the U,” I said.
“Since when?” Georgie demanded. “Since when was it only my plan?”
“Since—since, like, always, Georgie, it’s not like there’s a specific moment when I didn’t agree to it.”
“But you never said!” Georgie cried. She glared at me. “So are you planning not to go to the U?”
“Georgie! I don’t have—I haven’t made any definite decisions yet.”
Speaking of college applications, Sage’s list of potential essay topics is pretty hilarious:
- College Is the Portal Fantasy I Was Looking for All Along
- A Time I Experienced Hardship. Would be more compelling if I had in fact experienced hardship.
- An Invented Experience of Hardship. I would never have the moxie to actually make something up for a college essay. Curious to know what Arielle wrote about, though--
- The Hardship of Having to Write a College Essay When You Are Far Less Impressive Than You Ever Realized
- Who Invented the College Admission Essay, Anyway? A Study in Human Depravity
It’s against the backdrop of college applications, planning birthday parties, and joining a club (Sage: ugh!) that the most high-maintenance of Sage’s friends starts becoming more and more erratic as meanwhile one of Sage’s sworn enemies (there’s no enemy like an enemy you make in second grade) might actually be turning into a friend. (Maybe even ... ) And all this is handled so real-ly and so feeling-ly, it’s just a delight to read.
I also have to mention that during the course of the story, Sage writes a novel. And … it’s got problems (Surprise! High school student does not write a flawless novel), as she comes to see from conversations with her friends. This all felt very real indeed, part of the process of growing as a writer.
So much growing in this story!
Because it’s AGG writing, there are also reflections on literature and art. I’m going to close with one of those:
For our final, Mrs. Helton had us analyze a poem, Fyodor Tytchev’s “Silentium,” as translated by Vladimir Nabokov. I don’t remember it all of course, but a line stuck in my head:
“A thought once uttered is untrue.”
It struck me to the heart, as if it is really deeply true. And yet is it?
I think it’s impossible to tell the complete truth, especially about feelings which are so complicated and often contradictory. But I don’t think a partial truth is necessarily a lie, do you?
It just seems so sad, the idea that we can never communicate the things that are deepest in our hearts. As if drawing them uppermost in our souls, so that we can show them to others, transmutes them to something irrevocably different and unreal.
Truly a great read. I’m a whole generation older than the characters, didn’t grow up in the midwest, and was much more withdrawn and outsider-ish in high school than Sage and her friends, and I still loved it.
Diary of a Cranky Bookworm
