But it just seems oddly contrary to say "Well because girls are usually put into x roles that's why I hope the boy in this story is put into x role."

Well, a lot of it is because in almost everything I read/watch/consume, any time the guys get even a smidgen of a part, they get tons of fans and fic and plot in terms of the main story, and the part goes from being a bit part to a meaty side character and overtaking the women's story. I can name so many of them just off the top of my head. So I find it so frustrating that I've managed to find just one manga that is almost all women, and they are still trying to shoehorn a guy in!

Ha, I am pretty certain my dislike of violence is affecting my enjoyment! But that is also why I tend not to read as much shounen in general... a lot of the tropes don't engage me in the same way (unless it's about food, and that's a whole 'nother matter).