I really enjoyed Claymores, the anime and the manga. And I think I enjoyed the direction taken by the young boy Claire picks up more in the manga. But that seems to be the exact thing you dislike.

I find myself thinking that your dislike and distress at the violent scenes might be affecting your enjoyment of other scenes. Which is likely not the best kind of thinking. Everyone doesn't have to like everything in the same way. And you read far more manga than I, I'm fairly certain. But it just seems oddly contrary to say "Well because girls are usually put into x roles that's why I hope the boy in this story is put into x role."

In less spoilery talk - I don't find much conflict either in the slightly sexual / slightly sisterly dual roles going on. I think it's because Claymores aren't expected to have a sexuality of their own. And figuring out why one likes someone in the teen years with hormones and attractions can be tricky enough. So it seemed natural to me that there be a duality in perceptions and enjoyments.

Oh! How do you feel about the whole 'the men push for the pleasure and thus become monsters but women have more self control' ?