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Notes (or, Too Much Figure Skating Has Scrambled My Brain)
It is officially figure skating season, which means I waste chunks of time watching people on ice and knitting while snarking at the commentators. Pretty costumes! Sequins! Jumps! OLYMPICS!
(ok, also, I wanted an excuse to use my new "Neener!" icon)
Dear Brian Joubert,
You skate really pretty. Your face is really pretty. Your costumes are, unfortunately, hideous. I thought the brown naugahyde/pleather with ropes from last year was bad, but this year isn't so great either! If you are dressed as James Bond, why do you have "007" in sparkles on your back instead of a nice, spiffy tux? Why? And why the red and white bolero with studs everywhere?
Very blinded,
me
Dear Commentators,
Please stop fawning over Sasha Cohen. I think she skates beautifully and very well, but this doesn't mean that you have to compare every single thing every skater does afterward to her.
Also, "Wow, how good does it feel to win a gold medal?" is a really sucky interview question.
Snarkity,
me
PS. Beijing has not actually been the seat of Chinese civilization for the past three thousand years. I am sure it sounds quite romantic, but it is, alas, totally untrue.
Dear Michelle Kwan,
Where are you? Please win!
On pins and needles,
me
Dear Irina Slutskaya,
You are the cutest thing ever. I hope you win too!
Happy,
me
Dear Johnny Weir,
Why do all your costumes look like you dragged them out of the rag bin? You are pretty and look like Connor, but adding a few extra sequins and sparklies doesn't make your costume any less like Connor-out-of-Quartoth.
In fact, I think the sparklies make it even worse.
Fannishly confused,
me
Dear Evgeny Plushenko,
I miss you and your big nose! Come back!
Woefully,
me
(ok, also, I wanted an excuse to use my new "Neener!" icon)
Dear Brian Joubert,
You skate really pretty. Your face is really pretty. Your costumes are, unfortunately, hideous. I thought the brown naugahyde/pleather with ropes from last year was bad, but this year isn't so great either! If you are dressed as James Bond, why do you have "007" in sparkles on your back instead of a nice, spiffy tux? Why? And why the red and white bolero with studs everywhere?
Very blinded,
me
Dear Commentators,
Please stop fawning over Sasha Cohen. I think she skates beautifully and very well, but this doesn't mean that you have to compare every single thing every skater does afterward to her.
Also, "Wow, how good does it feel to win a gold medal?" is a really sucky interview question.
Snarkity,
me
PS. Beijing has not actually been the seat of Chinese civilization for the past three thousand years. I am sure it sounds quite romantic, but it is, alas, totally untrue.
Dear Michelle Kwan,
Where are you? Please win!
On pins and needles,
me
Dear Irina Slutskaya,
You are the cutest thing ever. I hope you win too!
Happy,
me
Dear Johnny Weir,
Why do all your costumes look like you dragged them out of the rag bin? You are pretty and look like Connor, but adding a few extra sequins and sparklies doesn't make your costume any less like Connor-out-of-Quartoth.
In fact, I think the sparklies make it even worse.
Fannishly confused,
me
Dear Evgeny Plushenko,
I miss you and your big nose! Come back!
Woefully,
me
no subject
I have no TiVo! Wah! I am deprived!
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