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I really didn't want to go back to my apartment and have to deal with the now-empty rat cage and assorted paraphernalia, so to put it off, CB and I crashed his friend's place and did a 7-episode Game of Thrones marathon.

Spoilers for both the show AND all books

We've now hit the part where I only vaguely remember what happens in the books. As in, prior to reading recaps while watching the first two seasons of GoT, I had completely forgotten that Jaime's hand gets cut off.

Also, after watching these episodes, I can figure out why I have mostly forgotten the book plot points! The narratives have now gotten so disparate and separate that it's hard for me to keep track of the story threads, and none of them save Daenerys' and the King's Landing plots seem to be going anywhere specific. (Obviously the Robb plot is going somewhere, but it doesn't feel like it.)

While Daenerys pulling a switcheroo on Astapor and freeing the Unsullied was cool in terms of Daenerys' character growth, it just keeps going back to What These People Need Is a Honky. Sigh. The speech Grey Worm gives about how he's keeping this name because it's what he was called when Daenerys Stormborn freed him was particularly irksome. I also hate that it's the Westerosi leading all the Essosian (? what do you call them) people, as of course Ser Jorah and Ser Barristan are the advisors we see most of. Their little spat over how to serve Daenerys best was annoying and paternalistic, though at least Jorah made some mention of, you know, maybe going along with what Daenerys herself wanted. And Missandei's earlier clothes were terrible.

And, since I'm keeping track, the first sexposition scene takes place about ten minutes into the first episode. Oh HBO. Why? And the entire thing with Podrick is so gratuitous, especially with Tyrion introducing the various prostitutes! At least this season, there's more male nudity, with a full frontal from Loras' lover/Littlefinger's spy, and bare chests from several of the men. So far, there have been (iirc) three threats of rape made to men. I didn't count how many were made to women. I also hate how various people toss around "cunt" as an insult. On the plus side, at least we've gotten a few sex scenes that have been there for ostensible character development/relationship development (Jon/Ygritte, Talisa/Robb). That said, the ratio of male to female nudity even in those scenes is heavily weighted to naked women, and even better, we get some random Wildling acting possessive over Ygritte.

I don't really buy either of the romances, which is too bad, since a major plot point hinges on Talisa/Robb. Ygritte/Jon work a little better, though I'm not convinced of how quickly Ygritte falls for Jon. I do like that he's the virgin and she's not.

I feel kind of bad because I'm not over the moon about the Jaime/Brienne scenes, though to be honest, I wasn't a huge fan of them in the books as well. I am resigned to Jaime's redemption arc, and I do like the actor a lot. And I like Brienne a great deal. But ack, all the rape threats! Maybe I will like them better now that Jaime actually went back for her.

Similarly, while I like the actress for Arya a lot, I feel she's been given much less to do here. I'm hoping this will improve now that she's stuck with the Hound, especially since her scenes with Tywin last season were so great.

Tywin continues to be one of my favorite characters to watch because he is so unapologetically dreadful but also effective. That, and I want his boots. He gets the best clothes. And I feel everyone had been waiting for his smackdown of Joffrey for forever.

My other favorite characters to watch are Lady Olenna and Margaery. Olenna versus Tywin was incredibly awesome, and watching Margaery wrap Joffrey around her little finger is similarly amusing. She's so good at lying with that straight face! I particularly love it when she claims she's just a simple girl, no knowledge of politics at all. I also like that Cersei comments about Margaery's clothing being a weapon of sorts; it at least makes all the cleavage more palatable.

Sansa, alas, is still much more naive that is good for her. There have been some excellent scenes of awkward in this season so far, from Tyrion having to tell Sansa and Shae about his marriage to Sansa to Sansa gushing at Loras to Edmure failing to light his father's pyre. I am sad they didn't actually film the entire conversation with Tyrion, Sansa, and Shae, because I'm pretty sure it would be hilarious. Also, I don't think Margaery is manipulating Sansa quite as much as she is manipulating Joffrey, and I do think she and her grandmother want the best for Sansa... as long as it helps them as well.

And oh Tyrion. You are still pleasant to watch right now, but I am bracing myself for what happens later. I really hope they aren't going to go with Shae betraying him with Tywin, because EW. Also, all the scenes of Tyrion professing his love to Shae just make me roll my eyes. I really don't buy anyone in this series in love, except Jaime and Cersei, ha!

I was also spoiling myself for everything, so I knew about Ros' death, but still. UGH. Really, HBO? She's an original character, so you can't say you were just following the book, and that last shot was so horribly gratuitous! And not only did you have to show her like that, you had to show her breast as well? Gross.

Also gross: all the Theon scenes. I hate Theon, but seriously, I don't want to watch anyone being tortured so much. And then when there were naked women plus torture? GROSS TIMES INFINITY.

Varys, I like you and wish you'd pop up more.

Stannis continues to be so boring that I forget what he looks like all the time. I did love the scene with his daughter and Davos though.

I also have completely forgotten what happens with Melisandre and Gendry, but I'm pretty sure any mention of your blood being powerful is a sign of DOOM. Then again, pretty much everything in this show is a sign of DOOM.

CB, his friend, and I were joking that Hot Pie probably has the happiest ending of anyone so far... so of course, his bakery is probably going to be lit on fire and him killed five minutes later.

Oh right, Bran. Bran, I'm sorry, but you totally bored me in the books and you bore me only slightly less here. That said, the actor is much bigger now! That was weird. I also like the person playing Meera for reasons unbeknownst to me, and I really liked her scenes with Osha. I still don't know why the hell Osha is helping the Stark kids out, except of course she is a Wildling and therefore her narrative is subsumed by Bran's.

I'm good with any and all spoilers, so 'ware spoilers in the comments as well!
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Oyceter

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